(Animaniacs / Star Wars) STAR BORES - Episode 6: Re-run of the Gookie

Written by Sylvester Fox
Based on 'Star Wars: Return of the Jedi' written by George Lucas
and Lawrence Kasdan from the novel by George Lucas
(C) 1983 Lucasfilms Ltd.
This work (C) 1997 Sylvester Fox

-----------------

Some time or other, somewhere ...

<BKGD: Generic starfield. Titles scroll up, then roller caption
accompanied by Slappy voice-over:>

SLAPPY: Hey, we're on a roll here. OK, last movie. Skip Lukewalker's
run back ta his home planet ta rescue Han Yakko from the grip 'a the
Godpigeon. Too bad he don't know the Empire's back in the Eight Ball
business again. Yep, they're buildin' another one 'a them things. Hey,
what'd ya expect? We're doin' the same thing.

[The scene shifts downward, revealing a half-completed Eight Ball station.
Around it are orange cones, cranes, barrels, heavy equipment, et cetera.
A moon floats in the background.
A destroyer sails toward the station, and is diverted by the workers to a
temporary parking lot. A shuttle flies from it and is let through the
barricades.]

<INTERIOR: Imperial shuttle cockpit>

[The captain of the shuttle turns on his transmitter.]

CAPTAIN: Eight Ball control, this is Imperial Shuttle 1. We are
requesting clearance. Over.

EIGHT BALL CONTROLLER: [over radio] This is Eight Ball control, please
send clearance code. Over.

CAPTAIN: Little pig, little pig, let me in. Over.

EIGHT BALL CONTROLLER: [over radio] Not by the hair on my
chinny-chin-chin. Roger, Shuttle 1, you are cleared for main landing bay,
over.

[The captain switches his radio off.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball landing bay>

[The shuttle lands on the deck, greeted by several stormtroopers standing
in front of its exit. The commander of the Eight Ball, Grand Mop
Walterrod, strides past the formation and to the door, opening it and
standing at attention. From the open door steps Pinky Vader.]

PINKY: At ease! Narf.

[The troops stand down from attention and disperse. Pinky and Walterrod
walk toward the entrance.]

WALTERROD: Lord Pinky, this was truly an unexpected pleasure and we are
honoured by your visit to us.

PINKY: Thanks, but I'm here on some other business. Poit.

WALTERROD: [nervously] Really?

PINKY: Yeah ... I think you're a bit behind in building this thing,
right?

WALTERROD: [very nervously] I assure you, we're working as fast as we can
on this thing ...

PINKY: Ooh, but Emperor Palpabrain doesn't think so.

WALTERROD: Why doesn't he come over here and help, then?

PINKY: [gasp] That was supposed to be a surprise!

[Walterrod's jaw drops to the ground. He gathers it up before speaking.]

WALTERROD: The Emperor's coming *here*?!?

PINKY: Yes he is! And he's gonna want to talk to *you*. Zort.

[They march off the deck, Walterrod praying under his breath.]

<EXTERIOR: Skip's homeworld, road to the Godpigeon's roost, day>

[Scratch-3PO and Ralph2-D2 walk along the road toward the gates outside
the Godpigeon's estates. Ralph2 beeps a question to Scratchy.]

SCRATCHY: Of course I'm vorried! Ve're being sent into ze nest of ze
Godpigeon! Pesto never returned from here!

[Ralph2 beeps again.]

SCRATCHY: Och, if you only knew vhat I knew about ze Godpigeon ...

[They reach the gate. Scratchy looks for the doorbell, then shrugs and
knocks on the doors. A door opens, revealing Squit.]

SQUIT: Who is it?

SCRATCHY: Two droids who seek audience vith ze great Godpigeon ...

SQUIT: Well, I really shouldn't ... aw, what the heck. C'mon in.

[Squit disappears and the doors open. Ralph2 scurries through.]

SCRATCHY: Vait for me!

[Scratchy rushes after Ralph2.]

<INTERIOR: Godpigeon's roost, throne room>

[The droids enter the throne room of the Godpigeon. The room is filled
with lots of pigeons. On a raised perch sits the Godpigeon himself.
Squit flaps over to the side of the Godpigeon and whispers in his ear.
The Godpigeon laughs wheezily at the two droids before him.]

GODPIGEON: Mehuztma muhumma muppita.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'State your business.'

SCRATCHY: How can you understand vhat he's saying? You never could
before ...

SQUIT: I can't. I'm just reading the script.

SCRATCHY: Oh. [to Godpigeon] Ve bring you an important message, ja? [to
Ralph2] Play ze message ...

[Ralph2 blinks, then reaches into a storage drawer. He pulls out a
life-size stand-out of Skip Lukewalker and sets it in front of the
Godpigeon, then plays a recorded tape.]

SKIP: [recorded, over player] Greetings, Godpigeon. I am Skip
Lukewalker, Gookie Knight and friend of Han Yakko. I know you're pretty
mad at Han, so I'll be brief. I'd like to meet with you to bargain for
his life.

[The pigeons laugh.]

SKIP: [continuing] I'm sure we can reach a mutually profitable agreement
between us. As a gesture of my goodwill, I offer you these two droids.

[Scratchy's jaw drops audibly.]

SKIP: [continuing] They are hard working and will serve you well. Bye!

[The tape clicks off. The Godpigeon lets out another hoarse laugh, then
speaks.]

GODPIGEON: Myamutamama musheya mummulama!

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'There will be no bargain!'

GODPIGEON: [chuckling] Yriamaya shummuma mupta.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'I like Han Yakko as he is.'

[Scratchy and Ralph2 turn to where the Godpigeon points. Under a
Christmas tree lies the box Han Yakko has been packed in.]

SCRATCHY: Oh, zere he is ...

GODPIGEON: [relaxing] Pshayma putma.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'Take them away.'

[The droids are taken away.]

<INTERIOR: Dungeon>

[The droids are led to a vile pit boss.]

BOSS: OK, you. [points to Scratchy] Psych droid, right?

SCRATCHY: I am Scratch-3PO, --

BOSS: Yes or no.

SCRATCHY: Um, ja.

BOSS: Languages?

SCRATCHY: I am fluent in over six million forms of --

BOSS: Splendid. [to guard] Take him up. This one can replace the last
psych droid we've been using.

SCRATCHY: Vhat happened to him?

[The boss points to a pile of 3PO-style parts. Scratchy cringes and
whimpers as the guard takes him away. Ralph2 beeps a few times in
protest.]

BOSS: Oh, a feisty one? Well, you'll learn to take orders soon enough.

<INTERIOR: Godpigeon's roost, throne room>

[Loud music blares as the gathered seedy pigeons revel. The Godpigeon
watches over the party, chuckling to himself occasionally. After a while,
a pounding on the door is heard, followed by the entrance of a network
censor.]

CENSOR: Stop this scene immediately!

[The pigeons stop in surprise, then turn to the Godpigeon, who speaks.]

GODPIGEON: Ysayama pupara.

CENSOR: This scene shows behaviour distinctly prohibited by the network
code!

GODPIGEON: [dismissively] Mupti.

[The Godpigeon touches a button beside him. The censor looks down, then
notices he was standing on a trap door. He falls, screaming, and lands
with a loud *whud*. The pigeons crowd over a nearby grate in the floor,
looking down. Loud stomps are heard, followed by the censor's screams,
then laughing pigeons as the screams die down and the stomps fade away, an
evil chuckling heard over all.
Scratchy is led in during this scene, and watches the censor fall into
the pit. He turns away, and looks once more at the attractively-packaged
Han Yakko, now on a table. His thoughts are interrupted as a shot rings
from off-screen. All turn to the door to see a bounty hunter enter,
wearing a full-face helmet and a racing jumpsuit with 'BOSCH' embroidered
on the left side. 'Bosch' leads in a captive ChewWakko and stands in
front of the Godpigeon's perch, then speaks. His voice is garbled by the
helmet.]

BOSCH: [barely intelligible] I have come for the bounty on this Wakkie.

[Scratchy moans mournfully.]

SCRATCHY: Oh, no, not ChewVakko ...

[The Godpigeon laughs wheezily, then looks over to Scratchy and nods.
Scratchy smiles nervously and approaches the Godpigeon, who extends his
foot. Scratchy leans to kiss it, then turns to face Bosch, looking
occasionally on the Godpigeon as he speaks.]

GODPIGEON: Myesatama mumura mesapazarmumsi.

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says he is villing to pay you ze bounty on ze
Vakkie ... twenty-five thousand dollars.

BOSCH: Fifty thousand.

[The pigeons around the room grumble angrily, closing on the bounty
hunter.]

GODPIGEON: [angrily] Psheyamuffama pupotmauma!

SCRATCHY: [nervously] Ze Godpigeon asks vhy he should pay you fifty
thousand dollars ...

[Bosch reaches into his coat and pulls out a small scroll.]

BOSCH: Because that's what you printed.

[Pesto takes the scroll and reads it, then nods to the Godpigeon, who once
again wheezes as he laughs.]

GODPIGEON: [chuckling] Iyorizio mumblitamubilamta.

SCRATCHY: [relieved] Ze Godpigeon says he admires your courage und
respect, und he vill be pleased to give you fifty thousand dollars.

[Bosch nods, and the pigeons begin to party again. Two large pigeons take
ChewWakko away, still whining. Bosch takes a drink and sips it through
his mask, then notices a pigeon staring at him: Bobby Fett. They stare
at each other, then turn away.]

<TIME PASSES>

[The room is now littered with the debris from the previous party.
Streamers, food containers, soda cans, and unconscious pigeons litter the
floor and furnishings. A dark figure picks its way through the junk,
muttering as it steps on and over various obstacles. As it enters the
light shining on the table with the packaged Han Yakko, it is revealed as
the bounty hunter Bosch.
Bosch takes a knife from his belt and cuts open the tape sealing the box.
He reaches into it, spilling styrofoam pellets about, then pulls out a
groggy Han Yakko. Bosch slaps Han a few times, knocking a few more
pellets from Han's fur.]

HAN: Wha ... where am I?

BOSCH: You're in the Godpigeon's throne room.

HAN: I can't see ... I'm blind ...

BOSCH: That's because your eyes are covered ...

[Bosch reaches over and tears the 'Read me!' pamphlet from Han's
forehead.]

HAN: Yeow! [looks at Bosch] Who are you, my fairy godmother?

BOSCH: Not quite.

[Bosch removes his helmet, revealing himself to be Dot.]

HAN: Ah, the fair damsel has come to rescue the daring rogue in distress.

DOT: No, the rogue in *dis* dress.

[Dot puts a blue dress on Han Yakko.]

HAN: Save it for prom night, let's get out of here.

[Before they can leave, the entire room is lit up. A familiar wheezing
laugh is heard off-scene. Han and Dot turn to look at the source ... the
Godpigeon. Various other pigeons, including Squit, are around him. Han
turns to the crime lord and smiles.]

HAN: Hey, GP! Look, I know you're still steamed at me about skippin' out
on that money you loaned me, but I've got one boffo deal lined up ...

GODPIGEON: Murfuummamufa pofmomofam.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'Too late.'

HAN: But I can explain --

GODPIGEON: [interrupting, waving wing] Maramumha.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'Take him away.'

[Two large pigeons drag Han away.]

HAN: You're making a big mistake! One that I'll regret!

[Two more pigeons stand on either side of Dot. As she glances between
them, the one on her left lifts his helmet, revealing the face of Pesto
Calrissian.]

PESTO: Stay coo, it's me. This's all accordin' ta Skip's plan.

GODPIGEON: Mshenama fomparasma mumurmate.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'Take her to the dungeon.'

DOT: Nice plan, Skip.

[Dot is herded out.]

<INTERIOR: Godpigeon's roost, dungeon, cell>

[The cell is mostly dark, with a dark door and a chair sitting in the only
light. The door opens, and Han Yakko is thrust in the cell by the
pigeons.]

HAN: Nice guest room. Lemme guess, early Attica?

[The door slams shut. Han shrugs, then sits in the chair. After a few
moments, a noise from the shadows gets Han's attention. He turns to face
the source, then fear crosses his face as he realizes what he faces. He
begins to back away fearfully.]

HAN: No ... no ... don't!

[Han puts his arms up futilely as a blur from the shadows knocks him down.
As the dust settles, the blur resolves into ChewWakko, who is hugging his
friend Han very tightly.]

HAN: Yeah, I'm glad to see you too, Chewwie.

[ChewWakko whines as Han pushes him up, getting to his feet.]

HAN: What's that, Chewwie? Timmy fell down a well?

[ChewWakko shakes his head, then whispers in Han's ear.]

HAN: Skip's planning a rescue? His only experience with them's being
rescued.

[ChewWakko whispers some more.]

HAN: He thinks he's a Gookie Knight? He's been watching too many movies.

[ChewWakko whines again.]

HAN: Hey, we're gonna be all right.

[Han hugs his friend.]

<EXTERIOR: Gates to the Godpigeon's roost, day>

[A lone figure in a brown robe walks toward the gate. He lifts his head
as he approaches, then knocks. Squit looks out from the small door
again.]

SQUIT: Who's there?

[The hooded person pulls the hood back, revealing him to be Skip
Lukewalker.]

SKIP: I need to speak with the Godpigeon.

SQUIT: Sorry, kid, but he doesn't wanna see anyone today.

[Skip lifts his hand.]

SKIP: You *will* take me in.

SQUIT: I told ya before, kid, no.

[Skip thinks for a moment, then tries once more.]

SKIP: Buk buk buk.

SQUIT: Right this way, sir.

[Squit opens the door. Skip smiles, then enters the palace.]

<INTERIOR: Godpigeon's roost, throne room>

[Skip walks in front of the Godpigeon's perch. Squit flaps up to him, and
speaks.]

SQUIT: This is Skip Lukewalker, the Gookie who sent you the droids.

GODPIGEON: [irritated] Fuzramumema prummafum.

SQUIT: I know, but he used a Gookie mind-trick on me.

SKIP: I have come for my friends.

GODPIGEON: Bah.

SKIP: You can either prosper or suffer, but I will have them back.

GODPIGEON: Bah.

[Skip thinks for a few moments, then smiles.]

SKIP: Buk buk buk.

[The Godpigeon laughs. Skip looks increduously as his mind-control powers
fail.]

SKIP: Hey!

GODPIGEON: Bah.

SKIP: Anyway, I'm taking them with me. You can either prosper ... or
suffer.

GODPIGEON: [chuckling] Pfurmuzamume isayamupite murofmuo.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'Yeah, right.'

[The Godpigeon then points at Skip's feet. Skip looks there, and sees the
trapdoor has opened. He looks mournfully at the camera, then screams as
he falls into the pit below, pigeon laughter echoing around.]

<INTERIOR: Pit>

[Skip lands in the pit, littered with filth and debris. A loud clang
heralds the door closing, sealing him in. Light and laughter comes in via
various viewing grates above him.
Skip stands up and dusts off his robe a bit before a few stones near him
begin to shake. A few loud but distant booming footsteps are the cause of
this. Skip looks up, then steels himself against the oncoming terror.
The footsteps come closer and louder, the pigeons now cheering more. Skip
looks up, then gasps as he sees the monster before him.]

BALONEY: Bluhahaha! We'll have so much yum-yum-doodle-dum fun today!

SKIP: Aaaaa!

[As the lumpy thing reaches to embrace Skip in a deadly hug, he scurries
between the beasts legs. Baloney tries to follow, but ends up flat on his
back.]

BALONEY: Hohahehaha! I have a great idea! Let's play gymnastics!

[Skip looks behind him fearfully. POV Skip as Baloney lumbers toward him,
then attempts a cartwheel. Skip then gets an idea.]

SKIP: I know a game we can play!

BALONEY: Really? What game is that?

[Baloney leans in close to Skip, who stands his ground (barely).]

SKIP: Let's play 'Earthquake Drill'!

BALONEY: Great idea! We can have fun *and* teach people about safety!
Blehaheha!

[Skip winces at Baloney's inane giggling, then stands under a doorway
connecting sections of the caverns.]

SKIP: All right ... ready?

BALONEY: Yes indeedy!

SKIP: OK ... earthquake!

[Baloney runs around stupidly for a few minutes, then looks at the doorway
and pretends to have an idea.]

BALONEY: The doorway! It's a safe part of the house!

[Baloney happily dances over to the doorway, almost squashing Skip. Skip
then runs to the door controls and presses the 'close' switch. The heavy
blast door comes down on Baloney, crushing him into an orange foam rubber
wreck. The door slides back up, and the smashed dinosaur giggles
muffledly.]

<INTERIOR: Godpigeon's roost, throne room>

[The pigeons watching, however, react poorly. Some stand in shocked
silence, others grumbling angrily. The Godpigeon himself remains an
island of calm anger in the furious flock, and turns to a guard.]

GODPIGEON: Mezopufantemaleonore.

SQUIT: The Godpigeon says, 'Get the other prisoners here.'

[The guard nods and leaves, then returns with Han Yakko and ChewWakko.
Another guard has fetched Skip from the pit, and the prisoners are
reunited in front of the Godpigeon.]

SKIP: Han! Hey!

HAN: Skip! How ya doin'?

SKIP: Same old, same old.

HAN: That bad, huh? [looking around] Where'd Dot run off to?

SKIP: She's going to be in the next scene.

[Han nods, then all three turn to the Godpigeon. The Godpigeon beckons
Scratchy over, then points. Scratchy smiles nervously, then kisses the
Godpigeon's foot when he extends it.]

GODPIGEON: Pezamurome mufomureamo muzumuza.

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says ze three of you are to be terminated
immediately.

HAN: Don't we get two weeks' notice?

GODPIGEON: Murmurame pizamemo orumormu.

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says ze three of you vill be taken out into ze
desert und tossed into a ditch.

HAN: Hey, we can take it.

GODPIGEON: Purzamu mufigera murtimue.

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says zere you vill be left for ze beast of ze
sands to devour messily und slowly.

CHEWWAKKO: A picnic!

[Han spins into a picnic sundress.]

HAN: It'll be so romantic, just you and me and the sandbeast ...

[The Godpigeon chuckles, then waves his wing dismissively. Skip, all this
time meditating, addresses the Godpigeon.]

SKIP: You'll regret this, Godpigeon.

[Skip smiles serenely as the three are dragged away by the burly guards.]

<EXTERIOR: Vast desert sea, day>

[The Godpigeon's majestic hoverbarge sails over the dunes, the figurehead
of Martin Scorsese looking forward from the prow. In front of the
hoverbarge rides a floating skiff with Han Yakko, ChewWakko, and Skip
standing on it, surrounded by guards, including Pesto (still disguised).
Han turns to Skip.]

HAN: [Hardy-esque] Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into!

SKIP: Just relax, everything's under control.

HAN: No wonder Dot made fun of me when I said that.

<INTERIOR: Hoverbarge, observation deck>

[The Godpigeon watches over his flock as they raucously entertain
themselves. Scratchy stands at the Godpigeon's side. The Godpigeon then
waves Scratchy off, apparently to get him a drink. Scratchy makes his way
through the throng of revelers, then knocks over another droid carrying a
tray. Scratchy turns on that droid wrathfully.]

SCRATCHY: Vatch vhere you're goink, you -- Ralph2?

[Scratchy blinks as Ralph2 picks up his tray and beeps a few times.]

SCRATCHY: Is zat a nice think to say to me?

[Ralph2 shrugs. Scratchy then hugs him tightly.]

SCRATCHY: I've missed you, you bucket of bolts! But vhat are you doink
serving drinks here?

[Dot peeks up from behind the bar.]

DOT: Earning better tips than I am.

<EXTERIOR: Vast desert, ditch, day>

[The skiff carrying the prisoners reaches a drainage ditch, a pipe leading
into it from one end. The skiff moves downward, then extends a plank. A
guard pushes Skip onto the plank.
On the barge, the Godpigeon hops onto the railing and faces the
prisoners, Scratchy by his side to translate.]

GODPIGEON: Fezumoyaeumufopte urkalumupone.

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says, 'If you vish to plead for your lives, you
may do so now.'

HAN: [defiantly] Ha! He'll ever get that pleasure out of us! Right,
Chewwie?

[Han turns to ChewWakko, who is on his knees.]

CHEWWAKKO: Please don't kill us! [turns to Han] Oh, um, no, you won't
get that satisfaction from us, right ...

SKIP: This is your last chance, Godpigeon ... surrender now.

[The pigeons all laugh at Skip's bold statement. The Godpigeon then
speaks again.]

GODPIGEON: Bazupe.

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says, [gulps] 'Drop zem in.'

[Close in on Skip on the plank. He nods to Pesto, who prods Han and
ChewWakko onto the plank, standing with them.]

SKIP: [whispering] On '3'.

[Skip and company then start 'bouncing' on the plank, as if it were a
diving board, Skip counting out.]

SKIP: 1 ... 2 ... 3!

[On '3', Skip, Han, ChewWakko, and Pesto land hard on the plank. This
sends the opposite end of the skiff sailing over their heads, hurling
pigeons into the sky.]

<INTERIOR: Hoverbarge, observation deck>

[Outraged pigeons start yelling, cooing, and drawing weapons. The
Godpigeon retreats as the pigeons start to fire. Scratchy scurries to the
bar and dives behind it, landing on Dot.]

DOT: Ow!

SCRATCHY: Sorry, Miss Dot ...

[Both are then crushed as Ralph2 likewise leaps over the bar.]

DOT: This just hasn't been my sequel.

<EXTERIOR: Vast desert, hoverbarge, day>

[A cannon on the observation deck swings toward the skiff and fires. Skip
takes the controls and evades the deadly fire, then zooms to the cannon.
As he flies past the bar, he snatches something from Ralph2: his
light-mallet. He activates it, and polo-swats the cannon off the deck,
leaving the pigeon there without a gun. After a few moments, the gunner
realizes his weapon is gone, screams, and dives overboard.]

<INTERIOR: Hoverbarge, hidden refuge>

[The Godpigeon sits on a perch in his hidden refuge, watching the battle
on various monitors.]

<INTERIOR: Hoverbarge, observation deck>

[Bobby Fett has re-emerged. He looks around, then draws his weapon and
fires. The skiff is knocked out from under Skip, and they tumble forward
onto the deck. They get up and face the bounty hunter, Skip with mallet
in hand.]

SKIP: You will pay for what you did.

BOBBY FETT: Are you talking to me? I guess you are talking to me,
because there is no-one else around here.

HAN: Enough with the chatting, mash him already!

[Bobby Fett fires first. Skip swings his mallet, knocking the seed-blast
back at Bobby, who is knocked off the deck by it.
Dot walks over to the group.]

DOT: So much for the exciting fight scene.

HAN: We're over budget enough as it is. You know how much each second of
light-mallet footage costs?

DOT: I wondered where the wardrobe money went ...

[The discussion is ended as another group of pigeons descends upon them,
attacking visciously.]

<INTERIOR: Hoverbarge, hidden refuge>

[The Godpigeon turns from the monitors and walks out.]

<INTERIOR: Hoverbarge, observation deck>

[The battle rages on. The Godpigeon walks into the centre of the room,
then through, unscathed. He hops onto the bar, then turns back to the
battle, and raises his hands. The combatants see this, and stop fighting,
their attention drawn to the leader of the pigeon underworld.]

GODPIGEON: Bezumareyomure piscomutmura.

[The group looks confused, then turns to Scratchy.]

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says, 'Enough, you have earned your freedom, now
leave my barge.'

[The party stands dumbfounded.]

GODPIGEON: Imuzerumiapopu mufterami.

SCRATCHY: Ze Godpigeon says, 'Scale und a half is not enough to justify
fightink to ze finish.'

[With this, the Godpigeon flies away. Han and Skip look at each other,
then shrug.]

<EXTERIOR: Skip's homeworld, landing field>

[A taxi pulls up to the field, occupied by the 20th Century Falcon and
Skip's Mustang. The doors open, and Skip and company exit the cab. Skip
pays the cabbie, and the taxi drives off.
As they move toward their ships, Han looks at Pesto leerily.]

PESTO: Hey, what'd I do?

HAN: Nothing, just had me packed in styrofoam for Pinky Vader.

PESTO: And I got you out, too.

HAN: You still got me in.

PESTO: *And* I got you off the hook with the Godpigeon.

[Han shrugs.]

HAN: OK, I'll forgive you this time ...

DOT: Can we get off this dump already?

SKIP: Hey!

[Han, ChewWakko, Dot, Pesto, and Scratchy head for the Falcon as Skip and
Ralph2 climb into the fighter.]

<EXTERIOR: Space>

[The two ships fly away from the planet. Skip's Mustang banks away from
the Falcon.]

<INTERIOR: Skip's cockpit>

PESTO: [over radio] Where you going?

SKIP: I'll meet you back at the main fleet. I gotta pay a friend a
visit.

DOT: [over radio] OK, but hurry. We should be ready for the big attack
scene by now.

SKIP: Don't worry.

HAN: [over radio] Thanks for comin' after me. I owe ya one ... just
knock that off the few you owe me, kiddo.

[Skip switches the radio off, then turns to Ralph2.]

SKIP: Don't worry, we're just going back to Pasadenobah.

[Ralph2 beeps again as they fly away.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Eight Ball>

[Several destroyers hang near the station. Prominent among them is a
black wedge-shaped form of an Imperial battleship. A shuttle sails from
the battleship, accompanied by two destroyers as escort, the peaceful moon
of Fendor mute witness to the procession.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball landing bay>

[Once more Pinky Vader and Walterrod are walking down the landing bay
corridor, this time toward the recently-landed shuttle. Walterrod looks
distinctly nervous, while Pinky humms merrily from the controls of his
suit.
When they arrive in front of the shuttle, the door opens. First through
the door are several guards, looking vaguely like Secret Service agents.
As they form a perimeter, a shadow forms within the doorway. The form
enters the light, revealing the Emperor.
Emperor Palpabrain walks out of the shuttle, dwarfed in body by the
assembled guard as well as Pinky and Walterrod. What he lacks in stature
is made up with in power. He wears a robe similar to that of Oboo-Wan
Kenoboo, but pitch black and smaller. Pinky Vader and Walterrod kneel
before the Emperor, who nods to them.]

EMPEROR: [to Pinky] You may rise. [to Walterrod] You stay.

[Pinky rises, lifting the Emperor to the shoulder of the suit. Pinky then
marches back, chatting with the Emperor.]

EMPEROR: Will this station be ready on time?

PINKY: Of course, Emperor Palpabrain.

EMPEROR: Excellent. You've done well, my friend.

PINKY: Oooh, thanks. Um ...

[Pinky looks a bit thoughtful. The Emperor notices, and smiles evilly.]

EMPEROR: You wish to continue to look for young Lukewalker, right?

[Pinky blushes bashfully.]

PINKY: You always could see through me, Brain.

EMPEROR: 'Emperor Palpabrain'. And patience, Pinky. He'll soon seek you
out. And when he does, you must bring him before me. Understand?

PINKY: Splendid! Narf! Always wanted you to meet the family ...

EMPEROR: Yes, the family of Lukewalker will be united ... under me ...
with the Dark Side of the Farce!

PINKY: Um, if you say so, Brain.

EMPEROR: That's 'Emperor Palpabrain'! Yes, things are going exactly as I
have predicted ...

[The Emperor chuckles as they leave the landing bay.]

<EXTERIOR: Pasadenobah, Olda's home, night>

[Ralph2 munches on a donut as he watches over Skip's fighter, parked
outside.]

<INTERIOR: Olda's home>

[Skip sits on a low bed in the house. Olda is on her own bed, facing Skip
and tapping the end of her umbrella against the floor. Skip then looks
up.]

SKIP: I've returned, Olda ... I want to complete my Gookie training.

OLDA: [yawns] Sorry, kiddo, I'm tired.

[Skip nods, looking at Olda as if he were appraising her age. She notices
this, and sneers at Skip.]

OLDA: Yeah? Listen, kiddo, when you're 900 years old, you tell me how
much pep ya got.

SKIP: You're not old.

OLDA: [yawns] Nice try, but I ain't called 'Olda' fer nothin'.

SKIP: Why are you called 'Olda'?

OLDA: It's short fer 'Olda than anyone else in the universe'.

[Olda yawns, then lies in her bed, pulling the covers over her.]

OLDA: Eeh, soon I will rest, sleep a long sleep ...

SKIP: No! You can't die!

OLDA: Who says I'm dyin'? I'm goin' ta bed.

SKIP: But what about my training?

OLDA: Yer trainin's done.

SKIP: [brightening up] Then I'm a Gookie Knight?

OLDA: Not yet. There's just one more thing ya gotta do.

SKIP: What?

OLDA: Face Pinky Vader.

[Skip's face falls, and falls silent. He looks down, then back up to
Olda.]

SKIP: Olda ... is Pinky Vader really my father?

OLDA: Hey, I'm tryin' ta get some sleep here.

SKIP: Olda, I must know ...

OLDA: [sighs] Yeah, he's yer dad.

[Skip winces as it is verified.]

OLDA: He told ya, huh.

SKIP: Yeah.

[Olda sighs, shaking her head.]

OLDA: This ain't good.

SKIP: That I know the truth?

OLDA: No. You ran off ta face him before you were ready ta. You weren't
ready fer that load on yer shoulders.

SKIP: Sorry ...

OLDA: Remember, kid ... yer powers flow from the Farce. Watch out, tho.
Anger, fear, that sort 'a stuff ... that's the Dark Side. You let that
stuff get ta ya, there ain't no turnin' back.

[Olda yawns again and hangs her derby on the bedpost.]

OLDA: Don't underestimate the powers 'a the Dark Side, tho. You guess
wrong with the Emperor, yer gonna be just like yer old man: the slave 'a
the Emperor, an' wearin' a cheesy mechanical suit. [yawns widely] Now go
'way, I need ta get my sleep.

SKIP: But ...

[Skip is interrupted as Olda snores. He sighs, stands up, then walks out
of the abode.]

<EXTERIOR: Pasadenobah, driveway, night>

[Skip walks to his fighter, then sighs heavily.]

SKIP: I'm just not ready ... I need Olda here.

BEN'S VOICE: B'k buk bkbk, bkaw.

[Skip blinks in surprise, and turns around to see the image of Ben Kenoboo
walking toward him. He gasps in awe, then moves toward his first mentor.]

SKIP: You told me Pinky Vader betrayed and killed my father!

BEN: [shrugs] B'k buk bakaw, bukbuk bkbrakbuk. Buk b'kb'kbkuk, bakak
buk buk.

SKIP: So, when he went over to the Dark Side, he changed his name from
'Lukewalker' to 'Vader'?

BEN: B'kaw. B'kb'kb'k, bluk bukuk bukaw.

SKIP: That's still pretty roundabout, Ben.

BEN: [sighs] B'k buk buk, b'kbrak.

SKIP: Many truths depend on your point of view? Right.

[Skip turns away. Ben shakes his head again.]

BEN: B'k buk buk, bak buk b'kb'kbuka. B'k buk, bakbukbukbak bukawkwabuk,
b'k bukbkbuk bkaw buk bk. Buk bk, b'k. Bukaw. B'kubuk, bkbkbuak bakaw
...

[Skip turns back during Ben's speech, then sits as Ben tells the tale,
nodding occasionally. Ben finishes his story, and Skip shakes his head,
still absorbing what he has been told of his father.]

SKIP: He still has good in him, somewhere ...

[Ben shakes his head.]

BEN: Bu-uk, b'k buk buk, b'kb'k.

SKIP: More machine than man?

BEN: B'k, bu' buk.

SKIP: Oh.

BEN: B'k buk buk, buk.

SKIP: But I can't kill my own father!

BEN: B'k bukbuk bkaw.

SKIP: Destiny? I already tried once, and failed.

BEN: Buk, b'k b'k buk bukukbkaw.

SKIP: Losing to Vader was part of my training?

[Ben nods.]

BEN: B'k bukbuk bakaw, b'k brakbukbuk.

SKIP: Humility and patience? I had to save my friends!

BEN: [smirks] Buk?

SKIP: [downcast] Yeah, they did have to rescue me ...

BEN: B'k buk buk, bkbkbukbuk bkaw!

SKIP: But I can't kill my own father!

BEN: [tiredly] B'k buk buk.

SKIP: No, it can't be!

BEN: Buk buk buk, b'k Bukaw!

SKIP: I guess I have to face him ...

[Skip looks wistfully skyward.]

BEN: [camera aside] Buk b'k buuuuuuk ...

[Caption: How Spielbergian ... ]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel fleet>

[Rebel warships fill the entire scene, fighter escorts alongside. Various
vessels surround the largest ship, flying the Rebel colours proudly as the
fleet's flagship.]

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, briefing room>

[The room is filled with Rebel officers and commanders. Among them is
Plucky Wedgie. In the front of the room is a blackboard with a crude
drawing of the new Eight Ball in its orbit around the moon of Fendor.
The leader of the Rebels enters the room, Mon Minerva. She is
accompanied by Admiral Sid Squidbar, a Mon Calamari. Pesto also enters,
and flaps over to where Han Yakko and Dot are sitting, and stands
proudly.]

HAN: Hey hey, look at the new jewelry ya got, Pesto!

PESTO: Hey, they needed someone to lead this attack.

HAN: Then why'd they chose you?

PESTO: Very funny, you old scoundrel. Why didn't they ask you, anyway?

HAN: Who said they didn't?

[Before they can continue, Minerva signals for attention. And recieves an
undue amount of it.]

HAN YAKKO and CHEWWAKKO: Hellloooo, Rebel nurse!

[Before they can leap into Minerva's arms, Dot ties Han Yakko and
ChewWakko to their chairs by their tails.]

DOT: Boys.

[Minerva sighs, then starts the briefing.]

MINERVA: The time for our attack has come.

[The entire crowd murmurs surprisedly. Minerva takes out a pointer and
taps the drawing of Fendor.]

MINERVA: Our spies have learned the exact location of the Eight Ball.
Not only that, but we also know that the station is not fully armed yet.

PLUCKY: How'd our spies find this stuff out?

MINERVA: They ran a special on 'The Discovery Channel'.

PLUCKY: Oh.

MINERVA: CNN also mentioned that the Emperor himself is on the station,
supervising the construction. Since the Imperial fleet is all over the
galaxy trying to find us, this gives us a very good opportunity to strike
at the relatively vulnerable Emperor. Admiral Squidbar?

[Sid moves to the blackboard, taking the pointer from Minerva. He taps a
spot on the drawing of the moon marked 'Shield Generator'. He speaks with
a slight but not messy lisp.]

SID: As you people can see, the Eight Ball is protected by an energy
shield from this moon, Fendor. Before any assault can be launched, this
shield must be taken down. Once that's done ...

[Sid picks up a piece of chalk, crosses out the generator, and draws as he
talks.]

SID: ... our cruisers will form a perimeter *here*, permitting our
fighters *here* to sweep in *here* and knock out the main reactor *here*,
thus *destroying* [whacks chalk on board] the Eight Ball.

[The Rebels mutter again. Sid points to Pesto.]

SID: General Calrissian has volunteered to lead the fighter assault.

[Pesto stands prouldly as Han turns to him.]

HAN: Good luck.

PESTO: Thanks. Hey, mind if I borrow your ship for this?

[Han's jaw drops. Before he can answer, Sid starts speaking again.]

SID: We have also stolen an Imperial shuttle. Using this, we plan to
sneak a strike team onto Fendor to knock out the shield generator
machinery. General Yakko?

[Han gathers his jaw up.]

SID: Is your team ready?

HAN: Yeah, but I still have to get the main characters in.

CHEWWAKKO: I'll go! I'll go!

HAN: There's that. Dot?

DOT: Sure, I'll go. Always wanted to go down to a strange world to blow
something up.

HAN: Anyone else?

SKIP'S VOICE: [off-screen] Me.

[The crowd turns toward the door. Standing within is Skip, freshly
returned from Pasadenobah. He walks forward to where Han and Dot sit.]

SKIP: I'll go.

HAN: Well, that takes care of everyone.

SCRATCHY: Vhat about us? Can't ve go?

HAN: Well ...

[Skip elbows Han's side.]

HAN: Alright! You can come.

SCRATCHY: Yay! Vait ... vhy am I cheerink?

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, docking bay>

[The 20th Century Falcon is parked next to the Imperial shuttle stolen by
the spies. These stand out among the Mustangs, Lightnings, and Sopwith
Camels that otherwise inhabit the bay. Pesto and Han stand between the
two ships, shaking hands and ready to leave.]

PESTO: You sure you want me to take it?

HAN: [forcedly] There's no problem, Pesto. Take her, you'll need her.

PESTO: If you're so fine with the idea, then why won't you give me the
keys?

[Han, with great effort, releases the keys to his ship. Pesto hops up the
ramp and opens the door.]

PESTO: Don't worry! I'll keep it in one piece!

HAN: You do that ...

[Pesto sticks his thumb up, then enters. As he slams the door behind him,
Han winces. Dot steps up to him as she prepares to board the ship.]

DOT: Anyone home?

HAN: Huh? Oh, just got this bad feeling I'm not going to see 'em again.

DOT: You feel that strongly for your friend ...

HAN: Yeah ... and if Pesto so much as scratches her, he's the main course
for a shish-kabob.

<INTERIOR: Imperial shuttle cockpit>

[Skip sleeps in the back as Han enters. ChewWakko is working under the
dashboard. Han goes to him.]

HAN: What'cha doin'?

CHEWWAKKO: I just can't figure out why this thing won't start!

[Han reaches over to the steering column, where the keys rest in the
ignition switch. He turns it, and the engine turns over.]

[Dot climbs in and sits in the back seat as Han clims into the pilot's.]

DOT: C'mon, 'General', let's go.

HAN: All right, let's see what this thing can do!

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel flagship>

[The stolen shuttle flies from the bay of the flagship, then reverses into
a nearby fighter.]

DOT: [voice-over] Fly much?

[The shuttle flies away, the fighter's pilot leaning out his canopy and
yelling.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[Pinky Vader enters the darkened room, the only light from a spotlight
over a chair facing a window looking over the massed Imperial fleet. As
Pinky kneels in his suit, the large chair turns around to face him,
revealing Emperor Palpabrain seated in the shadow of his chair. He
stands as Pinky looks up.]

PINKY: So, what're we doing tonight?

EMPEROR: I want you to move the fleet to the other side of Fendor.

PINKY: Um, what about this thingy I've heard?

EMPEROR: What 'thingy'?

PINKY: You know, one of those report things that says there's all these
Rebels massing a huge fleet somewhere?

EMPEROR: Pay it no mind, Pinky. Soon these pathetic Rebels will be
crushed under our heels and young Lukewalker will be our servant!

PINKY: But what should I do now?

[The Emperor reaches into a hidden compartment on his throne and tosses a
package to Pinky, who catches it in his real hands. He opens it, and
gasps.]

PINKY: Oh, Brain! A 'Star Bores' playset!

EMPEROR: [seething] 'Emperor Palpabrain'! Now go back to your battleship
and play with your toys. I'll call you when I need you.

PINKY: OK, Br-- um, Emperor Palpabrain! Narf!

[Pinky dances off, imitating Princess Dot ('Help me, Oboo-Wan!'). The
Emperor turns his throne around to face the window and chuckles.]

EMPEROR: Ye-e-es ...

<EXTERIOR: Space, Fendor, Eight Ball>

[The area around the still-unfinished Eight Ball is congested with
Imperial ships of all sorts, ranging from miniscule Bow TIE fighters to
huge destroyers. Almost unnoticed, the stolen Imperial shuttle carrying
the Rebel attackers sails on toward a checkpoint patrolled by the immense
battleship.]

<INTERIOR: Imperial shuttle cockpit>

[Han Yakko looks around at his passengers as he flies the shuttle on.
Skip stares out a window, Dot sleeps, and ChewWakko plays with the window.
Han speaks, mostly to himself.]

HAN: Hope this works.

[The battleship is seen through the windows of the shuttle. Han slowly
keeps his course as the radio crackles to life.]

GUARD: [over radio] Breaker, breaker, we have you on our radar now,
please identify.

HAN: [to radio] We're just a normal shuttle and need to get through the
shield.

GUARD: [over radio] Shuttle, send code to lower shield.

HAN: [to radio] Will do. [to others] Got the code transmitter?

DOT: Sure.

[Dot hands Han a small device with one button. Han points it out the
windshield and presses the button.]

HAN: [melodramatically] Now ... we wait.

[As they wait, Skip looks dreamily at the battleship. He then frowns,
thoughtfully, and shivers.]

SKIP: Pinky Vader's on that ship.

HAN: How can ya tell?

[As they pass by, Pinky Vader's goofy grin is seen on the sides of the
battleship, apparently named 'Narf'.]

SKIP: I'm endangering the mission ... I shouldn't be here ...

HAN: Hey, if this mission weren't dangerous, we wouldn't have much of a
movie. Just relax, kid.

<INTERIOR: Imperial battleship, bridge>

[Pinky Vader is in his command chair, playing with a Skip Lukewalker
figure. He then gasps, dropping the toy, and rises. He walks over to
where Admiral Wilford, leaning on a broom, watches out the window at the
Rebels' shuttle. As Pinky approaches, Wilford snaps to attention.]

PINKY: Who's that?

WILFORD: Um, we don't know yet, sir. [into radio] Shuttle, what are you
doing?

HAN: [over radio] We're just heading to the moon. Sightseeing.

PINKY: Um, do they have the password?

WILFORD: I think so ...

[Pinky then humms a bit in concentration, feeling for Skip on the
shuttle.]

WILFORD: Should I hold them?

[Pinky ignores him.]

WILFORD: [louder] Um, Lord Pinky?

PINKY: [snapped from reverie] Huh? What?

WILFORD: Should I hold them, sir?

PINKY: Um ... no, I'll take care of everything.

WILFORD: If you say so, sir.

<INTERIOR: Imperial shuttle cockpit>

[Dot and ChewWakko wait tensely at the radio, Skip nervous for other
reasons. Han calmly steers the ship.]

HAN: @@@@h, maybe ...

GUARD: [over radio] Permission granted. Have a nice visit.

HAN: See? Told you we'd make it.

[Dot and ChewWakko sigh in relief. Skip still nervously looks at the
battleship as they fly away.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Fendor>

[The shuttle banks down to the moon, away from the battleship.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, landing site, day>

[The shuttle sits upon a pad constructed in the midst of Fendor's
landscape. The moon's name is apparently derived from the primary scenery
component, as the moon is a junkyard, from the close piles of parts to the
distant mountains of metal.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, hills, day>

[The Rebel troops climb over the debris that makes up the hill, Dot and
Han ahead of Skip and ChewWakko, who in turn lead the rest of the troops.
Scratchy and Ralph2 bring up the rear.
As they reach the top of the hill, the troops drop down, a few yelping
from the bits of metal they lie upon. Han and Dot peer over the crest of
the hill. POV Dot as they see two stormtroopers polishing their
motorcycles, then back to a normal shot.]

DOT: Go around?

HAN: Nah, let's have some fun.

DOT: OK.

[Dot, Han, Skip, and ChewWakko crawl forward, occasionally yelping from a
piece of debris. They reach the clearing where the stormtroopers wait.]

SKIP: We have to dispose of them quietly ...

[As Skip thinks, Han and ChewWakko move out. Han moves behind one, then
takes out an immense mallet and mashes him. The other guard hears this,
screams, and hops onto his motorcycle, but screams again as he finds
ChewWakko sitting on his handlebars, gookie on his face. He falls off,
fainting.]

SKIP: Or we could make a lot of noise ...

[Skip and Dot rush out into the clearing. As they do, Dot points past a
pile of junk.]

DOT: Over there!

[Dot fires her pistol that way as Skip looks and sees two more scouts on
their motorcycles. The shot misses, and they fire their cycles, fleeing.
Dot and Skip hop onto the motorcycle occupied by ChewWakko, Dot in the
front, and peel out, sending ChewWakko off the handlebars. Han moves
toward them.]

HAN: Hey, wait for me!

[They move past, showering Han with dust and debris from the ground. He
splutters, and brushes the stuff from him.]

HAN: Thanks a lot.

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, various scenes during the chase, day>

[The two scouts race ahead of Dot and Skip, occasionally jumping off a
pile of debris. Skip leans forward and shouts in the force of the breeze
from their speed.]

SKIP: Faster, Dot, faster!

[Dot appears in a Starfleet uniform.]

DOT: [Scottish accent] Ach, Skip, she's going as fast as she canna!

[They approach one of the scouts. Dot looks across at him. He looks
back. Dot then puts on cool sunglasses and revs her motor. The helmeted
scout does the same. Dot then pulls into a wheelie, still gunning her
engine and almost sending Skip down to the ground. The scout matches
Dot's manoeuvre. They continue this until Dot resumes a 'normal' attitude
and points ahead of the scout.]

DOT: [sing-song voice] I'd look where I was going if I were you ...

[The scout turns to look ahead, and the eye-ports of his helmet bulge out.
POV scout as he sees a looming wall of debris. He screams and hits the
wall, sending scrap metal flying all around. Skip and Dot look back at
the wreck, then laugh and look forward, only to bulge their eyes as well.
POV Dot as she sees an even larger wall of debris in her path, and
continued as they hit. Both sail through the air ... ]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, clearing, day>

[Han and ChewWakko sit around, waiting for Dot and Skip to return.
Scratchy looks around nervously as Ralph2 scans with a radar screen,
regularly 'beep'ing as he turns. He then starts beeping more nervously.]

SCRATCHY: Och, no ... incomink!

[The troops hit the deck as a brown blur plummets into their midst,
sending scrap metal flying all around. The troops then surround the site
with weapons drawn as a very dazed Skip gets up, holding his head.]

SKIP: [dizzily, stilted] Always wear a helmet whenever on your bikes,
kids. Oogh ...

[He falls back down. Han picks him up, then turns to ChewWakko.]

HAN: Water!

CHEWWAKKO: No, that's a squirrel. *This* is water.

[ChewWakko takes out a Super-Duper-Mega-Soaker 50,000 and fires it at
Skip, who splutters back awake.]

SKIP: H2O! The square root of seven! What the ...

[Skip shakes the water from his fur.]

SKIP: What happened?

HAN: I was just about to ask you that. Where's Dot?

SKIP: Don't know ... all I saw was a blur flying through junk when we
crashed.

HAN: We'd better find her, then.

SKIP: Well, duh.

[Han talks to the commander of the troops.]

HAN: Take them around to the the shield generator. We'll catch up with
ya.

[The leader nods and takes his troops away as Han, Skip, ChewWakko, and
the droids move off toward where Dot had ridden off before.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, crash site>

[Dot slowly rises, groaning and holding her head. POV Dot as the
landscape slowly focuses ... upon a furry face. The face smiles down at
Dot, then speaks.]

HUNTER: Hello, hello ...

[Dot's tongue lolls out of her mouth when she sees the handsome,
well-built, and shinily-armoured Road Rover.]

DOT: Hellooo, canine nurse!

[She jumps into the surprised Hunter's arms. He catches her, then holds
her away as she tries to cover his face in kisses.]

HUNTER: I would *not* have predicted this.

[As Hunter begins to walk away, Dot sighs and swoons in his arms.]

HUNTER: It's the uniform.

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, corridor leading to the Emperor's room>

[Pinky moves along the corridor, but is stopped at the door by an Imperial
guard.]

GUARD: None shall pass.

PINKY: Well, I know the Emperor, and --

GUARD: NONE shall pass!

[Pinky sighs, then lifts the guard and throws him against the wall.]

GUARD: [wilted] The Emperor will see you now ...

[Pinky walks through.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[Pinky enters the dark room and walks toward the throne of the Emperor.
It slowly turns to face Pinky, showing a somewhat annoyed Palpabrain.]

EMPEROR: I thought I told you to stay on the battleship!

PINKY: But a small Rebel force has landed on the moon with that shield
thingy ...

EMPEROR: [impatiently] And ... ?

PINKY: Well, y'see, Skip's with them ...

[The Emperor nods.]

PINKY: I've got this funny *zort* that he's here.

EMPEROR: And what is a 'zort'?

PINKY: It's kind'a like a 'narf', but --

EMPEROR: Well, never mind that. Go down there and wait for him.

PINKY: You sure he'll come to me?

EMPEROR: Of course he will.

PINKY: Goody! I have a birthday card for him!

EMPEROR: [dryly] Yes, tell him 'Happy Birthday' for me, too.

PINKY: Sure thing, Emperor.

EMPEROR: Don't forget what else you must do.

PINKY: Oh, right, bring him before you for all that Dark Side stuff.
Sure thing, poit!

[Pinky trots out of the room, and the Emperor returns to his brooding.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, crash site, day>

[Han and company are sifting through the area, looking for any sign of
Dot.]

SCRATCHY: How can vun bike crashink make so much debris?

SKIP: The whole moon's covered with this junk.

HAN: I don't think this is from around here.

[Han holds up a helmet. Pink. With a flower on the front. Skip sighs
dejectedly, then sniffs.]

SKIP: Princess Dot ... she's ...

SCRATCHY: Hit ze deck!

[Everyone dives for cover.]

SKIP: WAAAAAH!!!

[Han puts an arm around Skip.]

HAN: Hey, relax, Skip. You know we can't kill off the main love
interest, now, right? [camera aside] Plus, we've already done this joke
to death.

[As Han consoles Skip, ChewWakko sniffs the air. He smiles broadly and
follows a scent he has caught. Han notices this.]

HAN: Scratchy, you take care of Little Mourner here ...

[Scratchy walks to Skip's side and tries to hug him. Skip then wails
again, tears flying.]

SCRATCHY: Zeyre zeyre, Master Skip, everysing's going to be OK, ja? Skip
... ah, you are rusting me mit your tears ...

[Han then goes over to ChewWakko.]

HAN: What's up?

CHEWWAKKO: There!

[He points upward to where a box lies, marked 'Chocolate Bunny!' and
showing a standard promotional pose for Babs Bunny.]

HAN: Somehow I suspect something.

[ChewWakko merely runs for the box. Han follows, and the droids help Skip
over to see. ChewWakko lifts the box, then blinks as a hidden (until now)
wire is pulled taut. A clanking of debris is heard, followed by a cage
landing around the entire group.]

HAN: Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into.

[ChewWakko whines, then rips open the box. He looks inside, then lets out
a piercing howl.]

SKIP: What's wrong?

CHEWWAKKO: There's no candy inside!

HAN: If it isn't one thing, it's another.

SCRATCHY: Vhat else can happen?

[They are soon shadowed by a large hairy beast, with long white fur.]

HAN: [to Scratchy] Good going.

[POV from the cage as the monster is sillhouetted in the sunlight. As it
approaches, the features resolve into Shag's face.]

SHAG: Wrf wuf ...

[Han reaches for his pistol, but Skip puts his hand on Han's shoulder.]

SKIP: Be cool, man ... go with the flow.

HAN: Stop quotin' 'Woodstock Slappy' and use that Farce thingy to get us
out of here!

SKIP: Just relax ...

SHAG: Wuwuburuburuf ...

SCRATCHY: Zat's not good ...

HAN: You can understand him?

SCRATCHY: Ja! I am fluent in over six million forms of communication.

HAN: Why didn't you say so earlier?

[Scratchy groans.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, path, day>

[Shag walks down the path, humming to himself. He carries a pole over his
shoulder. Suspended from it are Ralph2, Scratchy, Han Yakko, ChewWakko,
and Skip, in that order. They occasionally grunt as they sway during the
trip.]

SCRATCHY: Vhat else can --

HAN, SKIP, and CHEWWAKKO: Don't say it!

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, Road Rover headquarters, day>

[Shag marches up to, then into the building, which lacks the flavour of
the tropical plants, yet remains similar to the 'original'.]

<INTERIOR: Road Rover headquarters>

[The five are still tied to their pole, now a rack holding them over what
looks like a barbecue pit. Han watches as Shag piles firewood below
them.]

HAN: Go easy on the wood, big fella, we burn easily.

[Shag then barks off-screen. A rough voice answers, a thick Russian
accent.]

EXILE: [off-screen] What, I was takink nap! Oy ...

SHAG: [barely distinguishable] Lighter!

[Exile enters the room, in nightgown and rubbing his eyes.]

EXILE: Why you not use matches? [opens eyes] Bolshoi, what are you
cookink?

HAN: You mean you didn't order roast Rebels?

EXILE: Nyet, what are we, monsters?

HAN: No, you're six-foot tall talking dogs.

EXILE: Don't remind us of that ... [to Shag] Cut them down!

[Shag whimpers a few times, then reluctantly releases the Rebels. They
rub where their bonds were. Han goes over to Exile and leans on him.]

HAN: Thanks, chum. Say, you don't treat all your guests to an impromptu
burning of the steak, right?

EXILE: Nah, is only when Shag gets hungry. He sets candy traps all over
junkyard, and cooks whatever he finds.

SKIP: You wouldn't happen to have found another like us?

EXILE: Sorry, I been sleepink all day.

[Both Skip and Han turn to Shag, who whistles innocently.]

HAN: You didn't ...

[Skip sniffs, then bawls, leaning on ChewWakko, who pats his back. Han
sobs slightly.]

HAN: She was such a cute princess ...

[The door opens, and Hunter walks in with Dot.]

HUNTER: Hey, Rovers! Look what the dog dragged in!

[The Rebels turn to see Dot, then rush to her, grabbing her in a massive
and relieved embrace.]

DOT: [muffled by group hug] Thanks ... for ... the reception ...

SKIP: We thought you were dead!

HAN: Or worse, Alpo.

HUNTER: Nah, I found her out in the junkpile.

SCRATCHY: Vhere in ze junk?

HAN: Where isn't there junk?

HUNTER: Well, now that we're all reunited, let's party!

[Shag howls eagerly.]

<INTERIOR: Road Rovers headquarters, briefing room>

[The feast is going on eagerly. ChewWakko and Shag are making
considerable headway in eating everything. Han, after seeing Colleen,
reacts by hopping in her arms.]

COLLEEN: 'Ere now ...

HAN: Hellooo, canine nurse!

[Han plants a big wet kiss on the surprised collie. Hunter notices, and
Colleen turns to him.]

COLLEEN: 'Ow'd you take care of yours, Hunty?

HUNTER: I'd loove to tell you, Colleen, but ...

[Hunter points to his leg, where Dot still clings.]

HUNTER: ... I haven't worked it out yet.

COLLEEN: Blimey ...

[During the festivities, Skip has been politely eating, smiling, enjoying
himself. As time goes on, however, his expression turns dark. He walks
out past Scratchy's small circle, where the droid is talking to Exile and
Blitz about their adventures, synthesizing the sounds of various things to
enhance the tale. Blitz turns to Exile.]

BLITZ: [under breath] What a girlie accent he has.

EXILE: Look who's talkink, weird-boy.

[Skip walks on, past Hunter and Dot. Dot sees his expression, and
releases Hunter, who blinks, then shrugs. As Skip leaves the chamber, Dot
follows him outside.]

<EXTERIOR: Road Rovers headquarters, afternoon>

[Dot catches up to Skip.]

DOT: What's wrong?

[Skip sighs, then turns to Dot.]

SKIP: I don't think you'd understand ...

DOT: What?

SKIP: It's bad, really bad.

DOT: Yeesh, you sound like ya found out Pinky Vader's your father, or
something.

[Skip gasps, then turns to Dot.]

SKIP: How'd you know that?

DOT: I was just kidding ...

SKIP: [sighs] Well, it's true, he's my father.

DOT: How? He's a mouse, you're a squirrel.

SKIP: Tell me about it ... you don't want to see what he thinks.

DOT: Weird, your dad's the bad guy.

SKIP: I can feel him, I can feel him ... here. I feel him here, on this
moon ...

DOT: How?

SKIP: It's the Farce. He can feel where I am. That's why I must go.

DOT: You can't go! No movie's ever succeeded where the star walks out
half-way!

SKIP: But I'm endangering the mission!

DOT: Hey, like we haven't wrecked it enough?

[Dot puts her arm around Skip.]

DOT: Don't worry, we'll take care of the mission. You go and kill the
bad guy if you want.

SKIP: No.

DOT: [brightening] You're staying?

SKIP: No, I'm gonna face him, but I'm gonna try to bring him back from
the Dark Side!

DOT: That's new, saving the bad guy.

SKIP: There's still good in him, I can sense it! I know he won't turn me
over to the Emperor.

DOT: Ah ha ...

SKIP: [impassioned] I have to try! I know I can turn him to the Light
Side!

DOT: [polite laugh] Ah-ha ... you do that. By the way, have you had any
long talks with that Scratchy droid?

SKIP: [confused] No ...

DOT: Why don't you try it?

[Skip blinks a few times, then shakes his head.]

SKIP: I gotta go. It's my destiny.

[They hugs each other, then Skip runs off. Han walks by after a while.]

HAN: So, what'cha been doin'?

DOT: Oh, looking at the sky, looking at the junk, watching the hero rush
off to save the villain.

HAN: Hey, we gotta stir up some sort of ending.

DOT: I just hope it doesn't kill any chance of sequels ...

HAN: Dot, any more sequels and we're gonna beat 'Star Truck'.

[Dot sighs, then hugs Han, who hugs back.]

DOT: Skip'll be all right ...

HAN: And if not, this scene should get us some shots at supporting
Oscars.

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, Imperial landing site, late afternoon>

[The fact this is an Imperial facility is apparent by the Imperial troops
disembarking from a nearby troop transport, the Imperial walkers looming
in the background, and the Imperial shuttle gliding in to land on the
platform nearby.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, Imperial platform, late afternoon>

[Pinky walks down the ramp of the Imperial shuttle, waving from the
controls of the suit as a nearby band plays 'Hail to the Chief'. As he
reaches the bottom, an Imperial officer approaches and salutes.]

OFFICER: Lord Pinky, we have a Rebel here who surrendered a while ago.

PINKY: Oh, goody!

[Skip is led to them in handcuffs by two guards. The officer takes out
Skip's light mallet.]

OFFICER: He says there aren't any other Rebels, but I've still ordered a
thorough search of the area. He came to us with only this.

[Pinky takes the mallet in his hand, looking it over. He then nods.]

PINKY: OK, lemme know how your search goes. I'll take care of him.

OFFICER: Yes, Lord Pinky.

[The troops march off, and Pinky takes Skip into the shuttle. Pan along
their path until ... ]

<INTERIOR: Imperial shuttle>

[They both stand as the shuttle lifts off for the Eight Ball.]

PINKY: We've been expecting you.

SKIP: I know ... father.

[Pinky nods.]

PINKY: So you believe I'm your father?

SKIP: I believe you were Pinky Lukewalker once.

PINKY: Well, I sorta changed my name after I turned to the Dark Side.

SKIP: It's who you really are under all that machinery. You've just
forgotten.

PINKY: Well, I forget all sorts of things, narf! Oh, here you go.

[Pinky puts an Eight Ball souvenir cap on Skip's head.]

PINKY: Sort of a late birthday present. You like?

SKIP: See? There's still some good in you! The Emperor hasn't driven it
all out yet! That's why you didn't kill me. And that's why you're not
going to take me to the Emperor.

[A light 'bong' comes from the intercom speaker.]

INTERCOM: Next stop, the Emperor's private landing pad.

[Skip's face visibly droops. Pinky sees this and looks over Skip's light
mallet, igniting it and swishing it around.]

PINKY: Ooh, this is neat. You've made your own light mallet!

[He deactivates the weapon, then pats Skip's back, almost knocking him
over.]

PINKY: Congratulations! Narf! Er, sorry about that ... just so happy
you've finished your Gookie training.

[Skip regains his balance.]

PINKY: Brain -- um, Emperor Palpabrain was right. You're really
powerful. Comes from my side of the family, I guess. Poit.

SKIP: Y'know, all this 'bring me before the Emperor stuff' ... can't we
just skip that?

PINKY: I'd love to, son, but y'see, the Dark Side's [eerie voice] reeealy
powerful. [normal voice] Besides, I can't disobey the Emperor.

SKIP: You know you can't turn me to the Dark Side, and you'll have to
kill me.

PINKY: Can't we just talk it over?

SKIP: See? I know there's still good in there. I can see the conflict.
Let go of your hate.

PINKY: Sorry, son, it's too late for that. The Emperor's gonna show you
the true nature of the Farce ... and when he does, we can do all sorts of
neat father-son things, like play catch, and go to baseball games, and
start a dynasty of tyrants -- it'll be smashing! Narf!

[Skip looks down as they fly.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, behind a bunker, day>

[The Rebels sit behind a bunker with the Road Rovers, peering through
binoculars at the shield generator building. They lower their binoculars
and speak amongst themselves.]

DOT: There's the front door ...

BLITZ: But look at all those guards!

[Dot turns to see.]

DOT: I'm lookin', I'm lookin'!

[Dot seems to be enjoying the view.]

SCRATCHY: How are ve going to get by zem?

HUNTER: I've got a plan ...

BLITZ: I go in and bite tushies!

EXILE: I said it before, and I'll keep sayink it until you listen ...
[yelling] DON'T BE WEIRD-BOY!

[Blitz is knocked to his 'tushie'.]

HUNTER: There's a back door to this place.

CHEWWAKKO: Where is it?

HUNTER: In the back.

[They move out.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel fleet>

[The Rebel ships form up in formation, led by their fighters and the 20th
Century Falcon.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[Pesto adjusts the seat and mirror, then picks up his radio.]

PESTO: [into radio] All present and accounted for. Let's roll!

SID: [over radio] All groups into positions ... move out!

PESTO: [into radio] Are you saying I am a unit? Are you calling me an
imaginary measure of quantification? Is that what you are saying?!?

[Sid goes through the radio and slaps Pesto with his tentacles.]

SID: Just fly.

[Sid moves back in. Pesto recovers and sighs.]

PESTO: I miss Squit.

[He then pulls on a lever. Grinding gears are heard.]

PESTO: Han, what'd you do to the clutch on this thing!

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel fleet>

[The cruisers and fighters dash into hyperspace piecemeal, including the
Rebel flagship. The last vessel remaining is the Falcon.]

PESTO: [voice over] That's it! I'll teach you to stall on me, ya ...

[Pesto degenerates into cursing gibberish as sounds are heard of items
being hurled around the cockpit of the Falcon. This is followed by a few
kicks, a stalling motor ... then the Falcon finally zooms off.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, back door to Imperial installation, day>

[The Rebels resume their positions, this time looking at the back door of
the facility.]

HAN: Much better, only four guards here.

COLLEEN: Only takes one t' call an alarm.

HAN: We'll just sneak in ...

HUNTER: Guess you should've told Blitz that.

HAN: Huh?

[Hunter points down the ridge.
Blitz has broken into a drooling run, images of stormtrooper buttocks in
his eyes. The guards see him and scream, before levelling their rifles at
him. Blitz sees this and stops.]

BLITZ: Yiiii!

[He rushes off, hops on a nearby motorcycle, and peels out, screaming.
Three of the guards hops on their motorcycles, leaving the last one at the
door. The Rebels shrug.]

HAN: Well, there's our diversion. You guys stay here, we'll take care of
him.

[Han, Dot, and ChewWakko head down. The remaining Rovers shrug. Shag
then starts sniffing at Ralph2's cylindrical body, and is soon joined by
Muzzle and Colleen, then Hunter and Exile. Ralph2 beeps pleadingly to
Scratchy.]

SCRATCHY: Dogs vill be dogs, Ralph2 ...

<EXTERIOR: Fendor landscape>

[Blitz is at the controls of a motorcycle, screaming. His panic is not
helped when the pursuing stormtroopers begin to fire at him. He looks
back nervously, then back forward.]

BLITZ: I never liked armour-plated tushies anyway!

[He bails off the motorcycle. The guards rush past, still firing at the
empty bike. Blitz gets up, then jeers at the receding soldiers.]

BLITZ: You couldn't hit my hiney if I mooned you!

[He smirks, then blinks, and runs back to the bunker.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, back door, day>

[Dot emerges from behind a pile of junk, wearing a tourist's typically
loud outfit. She goes up to the guard and takes out a map.]

DOT: Hey, hon, could you tell me how to get to Flushing from here?

GUARD: Huh?

DOT: [slowly, loudly] Could ... you ... show ... me ... Flushing?

[The guard leans down to peer at the map, then points to a part of it.]

GUARD: Miss, you're nowhere *near* Flushing ... the best way to get back
is AUGH!

[The guard's directions are cut off when Han Yakko and ChewWakko, having
snuck up behind the guard, shove him head-first into the map, which Dot
folds back up into a tiny square.]

HAN: How do you do that?

DOT: Advanced course in hyper-space topography and applications to
chaotic cartography.

[Han and ChewWakko look at Dot in confusion.]

DOT: Ah ... it's just a little thing I do.

HAN and CHEWWAKKO: Oh.

[The three run through the doors of the station.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[Pinky leads the still-handcuffed Skip through the door and down the dark
path to the throne, which turns again, letting Skip see the Emperor's dark
face for the first time. Pinky bends down as the Emperor looks over Skip
with his not quite glowing pink eyes.]

EMPEROR: Welcome, Skip Lukewalker ... as you can see, we have been
expecting you.

[The lights come up, revealing a 'Welcome to the Dark Side, Skip
Lukewalker' banner across the room. The Emperor then points to Skip's
restraints.]

EMPEROR: You don't need those, here.

[They fall away from Skip's wrists.]

EMPEROR: Indeed, I am looking forward to completing your education in the
ways of the Farce. In time you will, as your father does, call me Master.

SKIP: *EEEE*, wrong. You're not gonna turn me like you did him.

EMPEROR: No, my pupil, it is *you* who are wrong.

PINKY: Oh, here's his light mallet.

[Pinky drops it on the unsuspecting Emperor.]

EMPEROR: Ow!

PINKY: Oops ... zort.

[The Emperor gets out from under the handle and examines it carefully.]

EMPEROR: Ah, the weapon of a Gookie knight. Like father, like son. By
now you should know he, like you will soon be, cannot be turned away from
the Dark Side.

SKIP: Soon I will be dead, and you with me.

EMPEROR: Your boast is empty, young Lukewalker. Or do you mean the huge
Rebel fleet about to attack?

[Skip looks stricken, then tries to cover up.]

SKIP: Rebel fleet? What Rebel fleet?

EMPEROR: Please, don't insult yourself by thinking I would fall for such
a feeble deception. [laughs] Everything that has happened has been
according to *my* plan! Your friends on Fendor are walking into a trap!

SKIP: They already did, remember?

EMPEROR: Not that trap, the one *I* set there for them! And it was *I*
who gave your fleet commanders the plans to the generator! I have enough
troops in wait to wipe out any Rebel assault team!

[The Emperor grins smugly.]

EMPEROR: Sad to say, your Rebel fleet will meet a fully-intact deflector
shield.

[Skip looks up to Vader, who sighs.]

PINKY: Don't resist, son ... it's for the best, really.

[He then looks to the chuckling Emperor, glancing at the light-mallet in
his hands.]

<INTERIOR: Shield generator room>

[Han, ChewWakko, and Dot rush into the room, weapons drawn.]

DOT: Freeze!

HAN: Drop your weapons!

CHEWWAKKO: What they said!

[The lights come on, revealing the room to be completely filled with
Imperial soldiers, weapons trained on the three Rebel soldiers. Dot turns
to Han.]

DOT: Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't this supposed to be *easy*?

HAN: How was I supposed to know they were gonna do this?

[The three throw down their weapons.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, back door, day>

[Several more Imperial troops approach the installation, including a few
two-legged walkers. A rustling of the junk behind the Rovers and droids
startles them, and they all pull weapons, aiming them at ... Blitz.]

BLITZ: Aiii! I surrender, I surrender! [sobs]

[The Rovers holster their guns.]

EXILE: It's us, Blitz, not Imperials!

BLITZ: It is? [stops sobbing, wipes tears away] Ah, I knew that.

COLLEEN: [looking back] Blimey, they're done for!

HUNTER: Not if I can help it. Road Rovers, huddle up.

[The Rovers do so, Scratchy looking on nervously.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Fendor>

[A relatively empty area. The Eight Ball is visible in the distance as
first the 20th Century Falcon, then the rest of the Rebel war fleet
re-enters 'normal' space. The Falcon leads the small fighters toward the
front of the fleet, toward the still-incomplete station.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[Pesto flies the Falcon and picks up the radio.]

PESTO: All wings report.

<INTERIORS: Pilots' cockpits>

[The scene jumps to each pilot.]

GREY LEADER: Grey leader standing by.

GREEN LEADER: Green leader standing by.

PLUCKY WEDGIE: Red leader writing will -- er, standing by.

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, bridge>

[Admiral Squidbar watches the fighters in his windshield, then nods.]

SID: May the Farce be with us.

<INTERIOR: Plucky's cockpit>

PLUCKY: The Farce? I'd settle for a good life insurance policy right
about now.

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[Pesto looks grimly forward.]

SID: [over radio] Any news on the shield?

PESTO: I can't tell if it's up down or sideways.

SID: [over radio] Why not? What's going on?

PESTO: Hey, what, they can't be jamming us, they don't know we're coming!

[Pesto thinks for a few moments, then jerks hard at the wheel.]

PESTO: They know we're comin'! Abort attack! ABORT!

PLUCKY: [over radio] Really? I mean, are you sure?

PESTO: If you don't make a massive U-turn, you're gonna be a bug on the
windshield!

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball>

[The incoming fighters brake hard, then fly away from the invisible shield
surrounding the Eight Ball.]

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, bridge>

[Sid looks worried as another officer barks out his report.]

OFFICER: Admiral, we have enemy ships coming in behind us!

SID: Figures, even if I play a good guy I lose.

PESTO: [over radio] Hey, how many wings am I supposed ta command here?

SID: Three.

PESTO: [over radio] That means all these other guys must be the enemy!

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel fleet>

[The 20th Century Falcon streaks by, chased by several Bow TIE fighters.]

<INTERIOR: Plucky's cockpit>

SID: [over radio] Draw their fire away from the cruisers!

PLUCKY: [gulps] *Draw* their fire? Can I get back to you on that?

[A nearby explosion rocks Plucky's fighter.]

PLUCKY: Wlaaah!

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[The Emperor is once more at his throne. The battle rages on in the
distance outside the window.]

EMPEROR: Come over here, young squirrel. See for yourself.

[The Emperor turns his throne to watch. Skip and Pinky Vader walk onto
the dais on opposite sides of the throne and look out the window.]

EMPEROR: From here you can watch my plan's completion, and the final blow
that will crush your little rebellion.

[As they watch, Pinky passes the Emperor a box.]

PINKY: Popcorn?

EMPEROR: I appreciate your gesture of comraderie, but I am not hungry.

[Skip looks down at the side of the Emperor's throne when he speaks with
Pinky Vader, where the Emperor has set his light mallet. As the Emperor
finishes talking, he turns and smiles at Skip.]

EMPEROR: You think you can strike me down with your Gookie weapon? Yes,
feel the hate rising within you. Take your weapon. I'm a helpless mouse.
Go ahead. Each passing moment draws you further to the Dark Side.

SKIP: No! I won't be turned!

EMPEROR: Resistance is futile! You *will* be assimilated into the Dark
Side, like your father!

SKIP: I *won't* go to the Dark Side!

PINKY: Could you two keep it down? I'm trying to watch the battle, poit.

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, back door of the installation, day>

[Dot, ChewWakko, and Han Yakko are led out of the building at gunpoint.
Outside they see several more Imperial troops as well as a few two-legged
Imperial walker vehicles. All have their weapons trained on the Rebels.]

DOT: Maybe we should've listened to Scratchy when he suggested surrender.

[Scratchy's head pops out from behind a pile of debris.]

SCRATCHY: Hey! You! Your mothers all vere never potty-trained!

[Scratchy blows a fat raspberry at them, then pulls back behind the junk.
Several troopers move over to the pile. Behind the pile, Scratchy
whispers to Ralph2.]

SCRATCHY: Are you sure zis is a good idea?

[Before Ralph2 can answer, the troopers are upon them.]

SCRATCHY: Ve surrender! Just ...

TROOPER 1: What?

SCRATCHY: Heads up!

[All the troopers raise their rifles and start firing upward. Thus, they
do not notice when Blitz sneaks along the ground and rises up to soundly
bite the rump of the lead stormtrooper.]

TROOPER 1: Hey!

[Blitz dives flat to the ground as the trooper turns around and fires.
This bolt narrowly misses a fellow trooper, who fires back, hitting the
commander. Another trooper fires at the mutinous soldier, who dodges.
The bolt strikes another. Soon afterward, the entire group is in a wild
melee. As the dust settles, Blitz, Scratchy, and Ralph2 stand alone in a
pile of stormtrooper bodies.]

BLITZ: That's the power of biting tushies!

SCRATCHY: Ve need to hev a long talk sometime.

[Before this conversation can continue, a loud howling is heard from all
around. Road Rovers burst from piles of junk, fire various weapons into
the midst of the troops, and dash off. The surviving troopers pursue,
accompanied by their huge walkers.
Amidst the chaos and ensuing pursuit, Han and Dot are left standing alone
by the door. They look at each other, then rush back, but the door slams
closed before they can get there.]

DOT: Great, now how're we gonna get in?

[Han searches the nearby wall.]

HAN: Here's a terminal.

DOT: I don't want a plane, I want in!

HAN: Why don't we plug in a *Ralph2 series droid* and have him *pick the
lock*?

[Dot thinks about this for a while.]

DOT: Great idea! Who'd expect it? Hey, Ralph2! Over here!

[Ralph2 starts to lumber over to the door, Scratchy following.]

SCRATCHY: Vait! It's safer over here!

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, battle, day>

[The Imperials continue to chase the Rovers back. Blitz in particular is
dogged by a squad of foot troops and a walker. Their laser fire rains
around him as he rushes near Exile's position, where he launches a rocket
at another squadron.]

BLITZ: Run!

EXILE: Why?

[An Imperial's shot knocks Exile's launcher from his hands.]

EXILE: Good reason!

[Both run to behind a pile of junk, hiding behind it.]

EXILE: I think it time for musical.

[One blast lands close to Blitz's hand, causing him to yipe and yank it
back.]

BLITZ: 'Dog on a Hot Tin Moon'?

EXILE: I was thinkink more along lines of 'Slippink on the Ice'.

[Exile puts his head back over the top of the hill and stares at the
ground under the Imperial troopers. Twin beams of cold shoot from his eyes
and hit in front of the approaching Imperials, causing the ground under
them to be covered with very thick ice. The troopers begin to slide
uncontrollably as the walkers, having hit the ice, start to slip around,
knocking down several of their own fellows before they finally land with a
loud *CRASH* on the ground.]

EXILE: I *love* beink Road Rover!

[Another scene. Hunter and Colleen, followed by Shag wheeling Muzzle,
take cover from heavy fire.]

COLLEEN: Hunty, remember that plan you mentioned?

HUNTER: What, this plan?

COLLEEN: Yeah.

HUNTER: What about it?

COLLEEN: It stinks.

HUNTER: Wait, I'm not done yet!

COLLEEN: What's next, we lure 'em into a false sense of security by
surrenderin'?

HUNTER: Not a bad idea. All I was gonna do was Muzzle them.

COLLEEN: Oh, well, right, that'll work.

HUNTER: Shag?

[Shag barks approvingly, then undoes the bindings that restrain Muzzle.
He closes his eyes and aims the dolly toward the advancing troopers.
Muzzle snarls loudly, then leaps drooling off-screen. The troopers shriek
loudly as Muzzle lands amidst them. Various violent sounds are heard as
Hunter, Colleen, and Shag look on. Their faces register shock and slight
nausea at what Muzzle is doing as debris from the fracas is sent flying.]

HUNTER: I would *not* have predicted that.

COLLEEN: What, that he'd do that with that?

HUNTER: That, plus he'd ever want to do *that* to anyone.

[The growlings continue, pieces of stormtrooper armour sailing past.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel fleet>

[The fierce battle continues on.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

PESTO: Watch it there! Ya almost blasted my fender off!

<EXTERIOR: Space>

[A fighter behind the Falcon fires, striking its shields.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[The ship shakes from the impact.]

PESTO: Hey! You did *NOT* just shoot me!

[Pesto jerks hard on the wheel.]

<EXTERIOR: Space>

[The 20th Century Falcon veers to the side, knocking the fighter away.]

<INTERIOR: Plucky's cockpit>

PLUCKY: Listen, guys, Red Leader here, I'm just gonna take a look at our
rear guard ...

<EXTERIOR: Space>

[Plucky's fighter turns around and heads away. As it passes over a Rebel
cruiser, an arm pops up, grabs the fighter, and throws it dart-like back
into the battle.]

<INTERIOR: Plucky's cockpit>

[Plucky is pinned to his seat.]

PLUCKY: A simple 'no' would've sufficed.

SID: [over radio] Be glad we did that -- those destroyers are all over
there.

PLUCKY: Big question time ... why haven't they come over here and whipped
us yet?

SID: [over radio] Just pay attention to those fighters.

PLUCKY: Yeesh, ask a silly question ...

<INTERIOR: Imperial battleship, bridge>

[Admiral Wilford stands watching the battle between the fighters ahead of
him. An officer rushes up to him and salutes.]

OFFICER: Sir, we're ready to attack the Rebel fleet.

WILFORD: Um, OK ... we're not going to attack.

OFFICER: Not going to attack, sir?

WILFORD: Yeah, I have explicit orders from Pinky Vader.

[He takes out a sheet and reads.]

WILFORD: 'Dear Willy: Don't attack the Rebel ships unless they try to
escape. Love, Pinky Vader. Narf.' So ... I guess we wait.

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[All three watch the fight, explosions looking like eerie fireworks in the
distance. The Emperor then turns to Skip.]

EMPEROR: Well, as you can obviously see, your friends have failed in
sabotaging this station. Too bad ... still, they will get to view the
might and firepower of this *fully operational* station! [into radio]
Walterrod, fire at will!

PINKY: But won't Will be sore?

EMPEROR: Silence, Pinky, or I shall hurt you.

[Skip can only watch in slack-jawed shock.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, weapons centre>

[Walterrod smiles evilly and rubs his hands as he hears the order.]

WALTERROD: [to radio] Yes, your majesty! [to officers] Fire the big
laser thingy!

<EXTERIOR: Space, Eight Ball>

[The '8' is visible on the completed portion of the station. It opens up,
and a loudspeaker snakes out of it It points in the general direction of
the Rebel fleet, then rears back before sending out an ear-rending
'FREUINLEVIN!'.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel Fleet>

[A Rebel cruiser passes behind a fighter skirmish. The waves of the awful
cry are seen bending space on its way to the cruiser. The vessel is
struck and pulverised as the Falcon passes nearby.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[Pesto is shaken out of his seat.]

PESTO: Hey! Ow!

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, bridge>

[Sid sits slumped in his command chair. Pesto's voice breaks over the
radio.]

PESTO: [over radio] WHAT in the name 'a Sister Frances just happened out
here?!? Mama Leone, that thing just knocked a cruiser into birdseed!
That must've taken a big whack outta the special effects budget!

SID: I know. Prepare for a full retreat.

PESTO: [over radio] Whoa whoa whoa there! I still got my chums down on
that moon fixin' to give you something to attack.

SID: You think we can sit here and have that station pick off our ships
one by one?

PESTO: [over radio] Hey, Han might be a liar, a scoundrel, and a
smuggler, but he's trustworthy. He'll get that shield down.

SID: He'd better, or he'll have a long stay down there.

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, back door of the installation, day>

[Explosions still ring around the clearing as Ralph2 and Scratchy hustle
over.]

HAN: Hurry up!

[Ralph2 beeps angrily. They reach the relative shelter of the building,
and Ralph2 plugs into the terminal.
Elsewhere in the battle, Blitz and Exile have drawn blasters and are
firing from shelter. Blitz takes exaggerated aim and fires.
The trooper he was targeting dodges the blast, which strikes Ralph2 in
the rear. He gasps, clutches his chest, spins around a few times, then
falls into a pile of junk. Dot gasps and rushes to the stricken droid as
Exile turns angrily to Blitz.]

EXILE: That's it. Hand over blaster.

BLITZ: No! It's my blaster!

EXILE: This is second time you cause friendly fire incident! You know
rule ...

[Blitz moans, but surrenders his sidearm.]

EXILE: You get blaster back after mission.

[Back at the bunker, Dot is cradling Ralph2's head in her lap as Han looks
over the terminal. Dot is on the verge of tears.]

DOT: Ralph2! Ralph2, why did you have to be so brave?

RALPH2: Beeeee ... ...

HAN: I guess I can try ta hotwire this thing myself.

SCRATCHY: [angrily] Zen vhy did you have to call us over?!?

HAN: Hey, we need pathos somehow!

[Dot continues to bawl incomprehensibly over Ralph2.]

SCRATCHY: She keeps going like zat, she'll rust him.

[Han starts fiddling with some circuitry.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Rebel fleet>

[The Rebel armada is seen in a far view. The Eight Ball is on one side,
the Imperial vessels on the other. They rush back and forth, under fire
from both.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[Various Imperial destroyers are seen as Pesto flies the Falcon through
them, scattering fire among them. He is yelling into his radio.]

PESTO: You heard me right, squid-brain! Get in there and fight
point-blank!

SID: [over radio] You tryin' to get us wiped out?

PESTO: Which ya think's gonna give us a better chance, fightin' them
destroyers or that Eight Ball?

SID: [over radio] All vessels, close in on the destroyers!

<EXTERIOR: Space, battle area between the fleets>

[One of the Rebel P-51s is hit by a Bow TIE's cannon.]

PILOT: [scream-over] Aaaaaa!

[The fighter starts bouncing pinball-style off the Rebel cruisers and
Imperial destroyers before spiralling away, accompanied with pinball
noises and flashing lights.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[The last scene is visible as flashes of lights through the window. As
Skip watches the decimation of the Rebel fleet, his face droops. The
Emperor, chuckling, turns his throne to look at him.]

EMPEROR: As you can see, your fleet has lost. And your friends on Fendor
are similarly doomed. The Rebellion as you know it is dead. And so,
soon, will be your friends.

[Skip glares angrily to the Emperor, who chuckles mockingly at him.]

EMPEROR: Getting angry, young Skip? Good. I'm perfectly defenseless.
Take your weapon, crush me with your hate and anger, and you will be
forever more a part of the Dark Side!

[Skip has had enough. He reaches a hand out toward his light mallet,
which flies at him. He catches it and ignites it, swinging it down upon
the mocking grin of the Emperor. Before it crashes on him, however,
Pinky's light mallet darts across, deflecting Skip's stroke.]

PINKY: I was hoping I wouldn't have to do that, zort!

[The Emperor laughs madly as Skip turns to duel with Pinky Vader.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, battle sites>

[Colleen, Hunter, and Shag catch up to ChewWakko. All four watch a walker
moving around, searching for them. Shag mumbles something to the other
Rovers.]

COLLEEN: Right, Shag, I'd like one 'o them too, but 'ow can we catch it?

HUNTER: Here's the plan ...

[Hunter and the others huddle up. Those with tails wag them, then they
yell 'Break!' and separate.
Hunter runs out in front of the huge walker and starts making faces.]

HUNTER: Hey, you! You're just a recycled cat toy!

[The cannon turn on Hunter, who grins sheepishly. The walker fires, but
Hunter has already run away. He continues as the walker moves after him,
shooting.
Hunter leads the walker past a large pile of junk, upon which ChewWakko,
Colleen, and Shag wait. As it passes by, they jump upon the armoured
roof.]

<INTERIOR: Imperial walker cockpit>

[Two men control the vehicle from the front seats. Hunter is visible
through the windshield, a crosshair upon him as he runs around
erratically. As they lock onto him, the screen is covered by ChewWakko,
pressing his face against the glass and making faces. The men start
yelling.]

PILOT 1: Get off there!

PILOT 2: Remove him!

[The first pilot stands up and moves to the hatch. He opens it, looks up,
then screams as two hairy white arms reach down and yank him out of the
cabin. Colleen then hops down. The remaining pilot does not even turn
when he hears her land.]

PILOT 2: I thought I told you to get him off of there!

COLLEEN: Nah, I like 'im just fine there.

[The pilot turns to the unfamiliar voice. POV Pilot 2 as he sees
Colleen's face, then the sole of Colleen's boot, then stars, then
blackness. Normal view as Shag and ChewWakko pile in.]

COLLEEN: Sometimes it's too easy.

[Colleen and ChewWakko then settle into the pilots' seats and start to
wrestle with the controls.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, captured walker>

[The walker stumbles as Colleen and ChewWakko struggle for control.]

COLLEEN: [voice-over] I'm driving!

CHEWWAKKO: [voice-over] I wanna drive!

COLLEEN: No way!

CHEWWAKKO: But I wanna drive ...

[By now Hunter has paused. He looks up and sees the walker lumbering
toward him. It then sidesteps, then somehow starts into a semi-complex
dance sequence.]

HUNTER: I would *not* have predicted this.

[Finally the walker is brought under control. Another walker approaches,
but is made short work of by the first's cannon. Various surviving
troopers blink in surprise to see this, but then flee as their machine is
turned against them.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, back door of the installation, day>

[Han is fiddling with several wires, sparks flying. Dot still sobs into
Ralph2's metal skin as Scratchy fires a few token shots. Muzzle's melee
passes by, a cloud of metal junk obscuring (fortunately) what exactly is
going on.]

HAN: I got it!

[Han touches two wires together and is electrocuted, lower limbs straight
out. This causes another door to slam over the first one. This startles
Dot out of her reverie, as her tail is caught in the doors.]

DOT: Yeeeoow!

SCRATCHY: Princess Dot! Are you all right?

[Dot pulls, and her tail pops out of the doors. She looks at the end,
which floops limply.]

HAN: Whoops ...

[Before they can react, a huge walker moves up to their position. Han and
Dot do not notice, but Scratchy does.]

SCRATCHY: Ah, Dot? Han? You might vant to look at this ...

HAN: What?

[Scratchy points to the lurking menace. Han smiles nervously, then asides
to Scratchy.]

HAN: You wouldn't happen to have a white flag on you, would ya?

SCRATCHY: I am fluent in six million forms of surrendering, ja.

[The hatch of the walker opens up, and ChewWakko sticks his head out.]

CHEWWAKKO: Hi! How's it going?

HAN: We've got injured down here ... hold on, I got an idea ...

[Colleen sticks her head out.]

COLLEEN: What about the injured?

HAN: They can wait.

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[Skip and Pinky Vader start fighting fiercely. Skip, having grown more
powerful since the battle on Cloud City, starts pushing Pinky back to the
top of a set of stairs. He brings the mallet down on a foot of the suit,
causing Pinky to lose his balance and fall down the stairs.]

PINKY: Ow! Oof! Hey! Zort! Whoo, that was fun ...

[Skip stands at the top of the stairs, mallet in hand, ready for a
finishing strike when he is distracted by the laughter of the Emperor.]

EMPEROR: Yes! Let the agression guide you, buy! Let it guide you to the
Dark Side!

[Skip gasps, then looks down to Pinky, righting his suit, and shakes his
head, eyes scrunched in concentration. He turns off his mallet and sighs
heavily. Pinky climbs into view and sees a relaxed Skip.]

PINKY: Ooh, Oboo-Wan did teach you well ... the 'Sighing Surrender',
right?

SKIP: I won't fight you, Father.

PINKY: Well, you see, that's a bad idea, since I'm still fighting.

[Pinky swings his mallet down, forcing Skip to backflip away from him.
Skip then soars into the air for a few twists and flips before landing on
an overhead catwalk.]

SKIP: Your thoughts betray you. I can feel the good in you.

PINKY: Eeww ... and anyway, I've got no good left. Emperor Palpabrain
told me that.

SKIP: You couldn't kill me before, and I know you won't now.

PINKY: No, Skip, you don't know the power of the Dark Side. Y'see, if
you don't fight, I'll have to mash you flat. Sorry!

[Pinky then strikes the catwalk with his mallet, knocking Skip to the
floor amidst sparks and debris. Skip rolls out of sight, and Pinky bounds
after.]

PINKY: Come out, come out wherever you are ... poit!

[The Emperor chuckles evilly.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, battle area>

[The various large vessels do battle, small fighters zooming through the
intervening spaces. One of these is the 20th Century Falcon.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

PESTO: Pastafazouli, this is confusicatin'!

GREY LEADER: [over radio] Watch out! Someone's on your tail!

PESTO: Got him!

[Pesto hits a button, and the cannons fire. Outside his window, a fighter
is seen struck.]

GREY LEADER: [over radio] Got him! Got him!

PLUCKY: [over radio] Got *me*! Got me!

[Pesto looks sheepishly out the window. Plucky's Mustang races by,
obviously hit by the cannon of the Falcon.]

GREY LEADER: [over radio] Hey, I lost my contacts.

PESTO: Han, if you don't get that shield down soon I'm gonna go down
there and *personally* whack ya ta Vulcan!

<INTERIOR: Fendor, shield control room>

[The Imperial officers watch on a screen as an image of an Imperial walker
is seen. The pilot's heavily-garbled voice can be heard, but recognised
as Han Yakko's.]

HAN: [over radio] We've got the Rebels on the run, but we need
reinforcements.

COMMANDER: Wait, your voice sounds familiar ...

HAN: [over radio] @@@@h ...

COMMANDER: Don't open the door! That's one of the Rebels on the radio!

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, top of the captured walker, day>

DOT: So much for that plan.

HAN: Time for plan 'B'.

SCRATCHY: Vhat's plan 'B'?

HAN: This.

[Han ducks inside and swings the walker's guns into position. He fires
them at the bunker, devastating it and sending scorched Imperial troops
fleeing the burning ruins.]

COLLEEN: Whoa, remind me to not ask about plan 'C'.

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[Pinky prowls around below the throne, mallet at the ready.]

PINKY: Come out, come out wherever you are!

SKIP: [hidden] I won't fight you.

PINKY: Aw, come on, give yourself to the Dark Side. It's the only way
you can save your friends, y'know.

SKIP: How?

PINKY: Well, first we won't just kill them outright, y'see. I'm sure you
don't want to see anything bad happen to them, right? Especially that
cute princess ...

[Pinky passes very close to Skip's hiding place, and chuckles.]

PINKY: And you say my feelings betray me. I mean, I can feel your
emotions from over here! And those emotions, too. Oh well ... maybe I
can convert her to the Dark Side if you won't.

[Skip screams and springs out of his hiding place, mallet flailing madly
at Pinky.]

SKIP: Never!

[Skip starts hammering blows at Pinky, forcing him to weakly defend. Skip
presses Pinky back up the steps and back into view of the Emperor. Each
stroke of Skip's mallet brings Pinky closer to defeat.
Pinky staggers at one point from the rain of blows from Skip. Skip takes
the advantage and crushes the right arm of the suit, sending Pinky's light
mallet skittering with the debris across the room and leaving Pinky with a
sparking mechanical stump. Skip raises his mallet over Pinky's head,
ready for the finishing strike. The Emperor laughs madly, turning Skip's
head from his fallen father.]

EMPEROR: Excellent! Your hate and anger has made you vastly powerful!
Now, fulfill your destiny and destroy your father, taking his place at my
side!

[Pinky gasps sharply as he hears the Emperor's words. Skip looks back
down at his father, who is now quite scared and is on the verge of tears.
Pinky looks back to his son, his eyes begging for mercy. Skip shudders,
thinking of the Emperor's words, and how sad his father looks sitting in
the wreckage of his suit. He clenches his eyes, then shakes his head and
hurls his mallet away. He then turns upon the Emperor.]

SKIP: No! I won't turn to the Dark Side! You've failed, Emperor. I am
a Gookie Knight, and I can't be turned.

[The Emperor snarls and stands up in his throne.]

EMPEROR: Then so be it, *Gookie Knight*.

[He virtually spits out the last two words.]

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, bridge>

[Admiral Squidbar looks at his monitors, then yells into his radio link.]

SID: The shield is down! All fighters commence Eight Ball attack!

PESTO: [over radio] I told ya he'd do it!

<EXTERIOR: Space, fleet battle>

[The Falcon and several fighters, including Plucky's damaged Mustang, soar
out of the melee and dive at the now defenseless Eight Ball.]

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[The Emperor angrily moves down the stairs. As he speaks, his voice
cracks with anger.]

EMPEROR: For this insolence I will destroy you. And your feeble father
... yes, I haven't forgotten your failure, Pinky. See now who your real
master is before you die!

[The Emperor's body then falls to the ground mysteriously. Skip moves
over to the fallen mouse as Pinky crawls out of the debris, and both look
at the Emperor's limp form.
A hidden door opens up in the side of the throne, and a hamster steps
from it. He is clothed in a robe similar to Palpabrain's, but is much
darker. His face also shows the signs of age and corruption, and his eyes
burn a bright yellow as he looks angrily to the two. Pinky gasps
sharply.]

PINKY: Snowball!

SNOWBALL: Yes, yes! When your chum here started to experiment with the
Farce, I knew I could strike! *I* gave him his 'powers', and eventually
exerted complete control over him. It was far easier than I thought.
[turns to Pinky, chuckles] After that, recruiting your support was
simplicity embodied.

PINKY: But taking over the world ... the galaxy ...

SNOWBALL: Was all *my* doing! Palpabrain was merely my puppet. And now
you, Skip Lukewalker, will suffer for this.

[Before Skip can react, Snowball lifts his arm and evil lightning shoots
from it. It envelops Skip's body, sending him to the ground screaming.]

SNOWBALL: Poor fool. [to Pinky] You see before you the price of opposing
me! Swear alleigance to me, and you may yet be spared. I know the Dark
Side now completely fills you, you cannot oppose me ...

[The bolts 'tighten' on Skip as Snowball chuckles evilly.]

SNOWBALL: Poor child, you must suffer the consequences of your lack of
vision. Feel now the POWER of the Dark Side!

SKIP: [weakly] Father ... help ...

[Pinky looks back from Snowball to Skip, writhing in agony from the
lightning. Snowball smirks back at Pinky, then down to Skip.]

SNOWBALL: And now, Skip Lukewalker ... die.

[Snowball shudders as he sends more forceful bolts into Skip, who screams
back and squirms on a ledge near a cavernous pit. Snowball moves down as
well, laughing as he watches Skip suffer.
Pinky follows nervously, then begins to grow angry. Each scream from
Skip seems to anger his father further, each laugh from Snowball fuel for
his fire. Pinky storms over to the hamster and taps him on the shoulder.]

PINKY: You!

SNOWBALL: What?

[Pinky grabs him by the front of his robe and punctuates his next sentence
by punching Snowball.]

PINKY: Leave ... [punch] *my* son ... [punch] ALONE!

[Pinky's last punch catches Snowball in the chest, knocking him back to
the edge of the pit. His concentration broken, the lightning that was
once pouring into Skip's body is now sailing from the ends of Snowball's
fingers into the empty air above. Snowball looks behind him, then to
Pinky.]

SNOWBALL: It isn't over yet! I *will* control the univEeeeeeee ...

[Snowball's last words are broken off as he finally loses his balance.
Pinky looks over the edge. POV Pinky as Snowball falls into what seems
like a bottomless pit, screaming madly and throwing lightning all about.
Pinky then slumps back and sits by his son, both too tired to move.]

<EXTERIOR: Space, Eight Ball construction area>

[The 20th Century Falcon is screened by several Rebel fighters. They in
turn are pursued by Imperial Bow TIE fighters as they zip into the narrow
shafts of the station that lead to the main reactor.]

<INTERIOR: Plucky's cockpit>

PESTO: [over radio] The strongest power source in here should be the
central reactor.

PLUCKY: Y'know, I really don't have enough experience with this sort of
run ...

PESTO: [over radio] You lived through the first movie, that's enough.
Now keep it tight, boys!

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball shafts>

[The fighters turn a corner, followed by the larger Falcon. The Bow TIEs
do as well, but one crashes into a wall. The Imperial fighters then start
firing, catching the rear of the Falcon.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[The ship once again rattles Pesto around, dislodging the rear-view
mirror.]

PESTO: Amazi! [into radio] Some of you guys break off an' divert them
Imperials an' head for the surface!

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball shafts, junction>

[Plucky's fighter zips past, trailing some smoke. The Falcon then goes
by, following him. They are followed in turn by the rest of the squadron,
which takes the detour en masse. The following Bow TIEs also follow, but
three continue after Plucky and Pesto.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[POV Pesto as he looks out the windshield. Smoke pouring from Plucky's
fighter obscures his vision.]

PESTO: Hey, Plucky, I can't see!

[Plucky's fighter banks to the right. The smoke clears enough for Pesto
to see why: a large pillar is in his flight path. He screams and turns
on the wheel hard. The scene outside reflects this, but the ship shakes
as he sideswipes the pillar.]

PESTO: Han won't mind a few dings, won't he?

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, bridge>

[Sid watches the progress on his screens. He turns to an officer nearby.]

SID: I'm tired of looking at that face. Concentrate all fire on that
battleship!

<EXTERIOR: Space, battle area>

[Every nearby and surviving Rebel vessel do a quick snap-turn, aimed at
the large black battleship. They all fire, hammering the battleship under
their combined weapons. When the smoke clears, all that is left of the
battleship is some debris and various Imperial officers floating under
parachutes, one of whom is Admiral Wilford.]

WILFORD: I knew I should have gone for a role on 'Star Trek'.

<INTERIOR: Eight Ball, Emperor's throne room>

[Skip gets to his feet, holding his father in his hands. He starts to
walk toward the exit as the entire area shakes from the Rebel bombardment
when Pinky gasps.]

PINKY: Brain! We can't leave him! Troz!

[Skip skids to a stop, then looks across the room to where the Brain still
lies unconscious. The floor shakes again. Skip holds out his hand and
concentrates. The Brain is lifted, then floated to Skip's hand by the
Farce. They then speed through corridors, Pinky giving Skip directions to
an escape shuttle.]

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball reactor cavern>

[Plucky's fighter soars in, leaving a smoke trail. The Falcon follows and
both fly around the power reactor, an immense shaft streteching from floor
to ceiling.]

<INTERIOR: Plucky's fighter>

[Plucky is more fighting than flying, his damaged aircraft shuddering
around him.]

PESTO: [over radio] Here we go. Plucky, go for that regulator on the
north tower.

PLUCKY: Easy for you to say ...

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball reactor cavern>

[Plucky's fighter erratically soars for the north tower, machine guns
firing and scoring. The Falcon heads for the shaft itself, and releases a
set of missiles. These also hit, starting a series of chain-reaction
explosions around the cavern.]

<INTERIOR: Rebel flagship, bridge>

PESTO: [over radio, eagerly] We got 'im!

SID: All ships, back away from the Eight Ball!

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball surface>

[From a solitary port, a shuttle flies out. As it swings by the camera,
Skip can be seen through the windshield, flying it.]

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball shafts>

[The two Rebel spacecraft sail through. A nearby explosion strikes the
rear of the Falcon, knocking off a radar dish.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

[The windshield is almost completely covered with oil and debris. The
windshield wipers are fighting a losing battle as the ship is again struck
with the disintegrating Eight Ball.]

PESTO: I can't see a beakin' thing!

PLUCKY: [over radio] Just follow me!

PESTO: Follow *WHAT*? I'm in the middle of Los Angeles here!

PLUCKY: [over radio] Follow my smoke, then!

<EXTERIOR: Eight ball shafts>

[Plucky's Mustang flies in front of the Falcon, its streak of engine smoke
now under the larger ship. The explosions behind them come closer, then
start to overtake the small ships.]

<INTERIOR: Plucky's cockpit>

[Plucky grips his control stick tightly, nervously.]

PESTO: [over radio] It's gettin' hot in here!

PLUCKY: If there's one thing I'm good at, it's fleeing! We'll make it!

[The flames start to move around his fighter.]

PLUCKY: [under breath] Please let us make it outta here!

<EXTERIOR: Eight Ball surface, shaft opening>

[The opening starts to glow redly, then flames start to pour out of the
opening. Plucky's fighter streaks out of the flames, smoking badly and
burning in some places. As the entrance begins to fragment, a burst of
flame erupts out of it. The area explodes. As if the explosion were from
a cartridge, the Falcon soars bullet-like away, also blackened from the
flames.]

<INTERIOR: 20th Century Falcon cockpit>

PESTO: Han is going to kill me for this.

<EXTERIOR: Fendor>

[The Rovers are gathered around the captured walker, looking skyward.
Han, Scratchy, and ChewWakko are among them. As they stare, they see the
Eight Ball's explosion in the sky. The Rovers cheer and howl at the
'moon', ChewWakko joining them. Han is the only one not celebrating, a
few tears in his eyes.]

HAN: Pesto ...

SCRATCHY: Ve vun! Ya-hoo!

[Han sighs, then slumps down. Scratchy turns to him.]

SCRATCHY: Vhy aren't you cheering?

HAN: I guess ...

[As Han settles back to lie down and talk, Scratchy chuckles to himself
with glee.]

SCRATCHY: [to himself] Vhat a great day ... ze Empire is defeated, und I
actually get a patient!

HAN: It started when I was a young child, when my mother ...

[Han continues on, Scratchy nodding and taking notes.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, clearing, night>

[Rebel fighters soar through the sky, lighting off fireworks. Pan
downward to the Road Rovers headquarters, lit up as the victorious Rebels
celebrate.]

<INTERIOR: Road Rovers headquarters>

[Rebel soldiers and Road Rovers celebrate raucously, cheering and
laughing. Pesto rushes in and hugs a sad Han Yakko in the corner. Han
turns to see what happened, then brightens considerably.]

HAN: Pesto? You're OK?

PESTO: I told ya I'd be back!

HAN: [brightening] And the Falcon?

PESTO: [nervously] Ah ... do you know any reputable auto body shops?

[Han freezes in mid-smile. He slowly reacts as his mind makes the needed
connections to figure out what Pesto said to him. Pan away from that
corner to another, but before the pan is complete Han can be heard wailing
loudly. Pan and centre on Skip standing at the door, crouched down to
speak with Pinky and the Brain.]

SKIP: So, what'll you two do now?

BRAIN: Well, the night is young, and I have a plan ...

PINKY: We're going home and rest.

BRAIN: No, we're taking over the world!

[Pinky stares at the Brain. A mouse-sized anvil lands on him.]

PINKY: I've had enough of taking over the world for now, Brain. Maybe
next week.

[The Brain struggles out from under the anvil.]

BRAIN: If you insist, Pinky Vader.

PINKY: Ah ah ah ...

BRAIN: Sorry, Pinky *Lukewalker*. I am afraid Snowball's influence is
still corrupting me.

[Skip stands up and carries the mice outside.]

<EXTERIOR: Fendor, Road Rovers headquarters car park, night>

[Skip carries the mice to a ship parked in the lot and helps them in.
Pinky stays at the door, then waves and blows his nose. He holds his arms
up, and Skip hugs him tightly.]

PINKY: [sniffing] Your mother would be so proud, she'd spill her oats.

[They separate, and Pinky climbs into the ship, which slowly leaves. Skip
stares upward for a long while.
After a bit, a streak is visible across the sky. It approaches the car
park, and strikes loudly as it crashes into the tarmac. It is a badly
damaged Mustang. Plucky crawls out of the flaming debris and wobbles
toward Skip.]

PLUCKY: [dazedly] Honey, I'm home!

[Plucky falls wearily, and Skip catches him. Skip helps his friend to the
building, but looks back over his shoulder. In the flames, he can see
Oboo-Wan Kenoboo and Olda. Oboo-Wan is smiling, holding a thumbs-up.
Olda is glaring, somewhat upset at being awake, but smiles grudgingly.
Skip smiles back, then returns to the party. At the flames, Oboo-Wan and
Olda step out and walk away, talking among themselves.]

BEN: Buk b'k b'k ...