Deer Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v
ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in
lawncare. How about I send you a book, so you can
learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older
brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

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Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only
thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for
everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, Didn't
they?

Santa

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********

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for
christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get
back together. Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a
screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's
gonna give that up to come back to your frigid
mom,
who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give
up that dream. Let me send you some Legos
instead.

Santa

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********

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some
G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet
you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa

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********

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,
and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the
back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the ***** and carrots make the deer
fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You
want to do me a favor Leave me a bottle of
Scotch!

Santa

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********

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year?

Are you busy making toys?

Your friend,

Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in
Vegas where I spend most of my time making
low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
myself
silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail
waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know!

Santa

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*********

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really
know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in
whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

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********

Dear Santa,

I really want a puppy this year.

Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I
have one?

Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,

That whiney begging **** may work with your
folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're
getting a sweater again.

Santa

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********* *

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you
get into our home?

Love, Marky

Dear Mark,

First stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why
you're getting your ass whipped at school.
Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside
your pad just like the boogeyman does, through
your bedroom window.

Sweet dreams,
Santa

Aw yes the usual Gold I am looking for in here !:D