Silent Bob
09-20-2003, 02:35 AM
X-RATED by Anonymous Office Waste
Micro was a real-time operator and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band
protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output
devices, even if it meant time-sharing. One evening he arrived home just
as the sun was crashing, and had parked his Motorola 68030 in the main
drive (he had missed the 6502 bus that morning), when he noticed an
elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He
thought to himself, she looks user-friendly, I'll see if she'd like an
update tonight.
Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes like
Cobol, and a Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals
networking all over the place. He broused over to her casually, admiring
the power of her twin 32 bit floating point processors and inquired, "How
are you, Honeywell?"
"Yes, I am well," she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly,
and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions. Micro settled
for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone tonight," he said.
"How about computing a vector to my base address? I'll output a byte to
eat, and maybe we could get offset later on."
Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds, then transmitted "OK,
I've been dumped myself recently. A new page is just what I need to
refresh my disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your background and meet
you inside." She walked away, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids, and
thinking "Wow, what a global variable. I wonder if she'll like my
firmware."
They sat down at the process table to a top-of-form feed of fiche and
chips and a bucket of Baudet. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded
on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgements.
Although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least critical
path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old "Would you like to
see my benchmark subroutine?" but Mini was again one step ahead. Suddenly,
she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full
functionality of her operating system software. "Let's get BASIC, you
Ram," she said. Micro's hard drive was loaded by this stage, but his
interface unit had a processor of its own and was in danger of overflowing
its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about.
"Core," was all he could say. Micro soon recovered, however, when she went
down on the DEC and opened her device file to reveal her data set ready,
he accessed his fully packed root, and was just about to start pushing
into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.
"No! No!" she piped. "You're not shielded."
"Reset, baby" he replied. "I've been debugged."
"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child
processes," she protested.
"Don't run away, I'll generate an interrupt."
"No, too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design philosophy."
Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned off. But
she soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into his
main supply, whereupon he dumped his buffer, fell over with a head crash,
and went to sleep.
"Computers," she thought as she compiled herself, "All they ever think
about is HEX!"
-- Brought to you by Norton, courtesy of Bell Information Systems Office
Illiteracy Department.
-- Grammatically edited by the Management of Killer Blue Systems.
Downloaded from Just Say Yes. 2 lines, More than 500 files online!
Full access on first call. 415-922-2008 CASFA
Micro was a real-time operator and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band
protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output
devices, even if it meant time-sharing. One evening he arrived home just
as the sun was crashing, and had parked his Motorola 68030 in the main
drive (he had missed the 6502 bus that morning), when he noticed an
elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He
thought to himself, she looks user-friendly, I'll see if she'd like an
update tonight.
Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes like
Cobol, and a Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals
networking all over the place. He broused over to her casually, admiring
the power of her twin 32 bit floating point processors and inquired, "How
are you, Honeywell?"
"Yes, I am well," she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly,
and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions. Micro settled
for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone tonight," he said.
"How about computing a vector to my base address? I'll output a byte to
eat, and maybe we could get offset later on."
Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds, then transmitted "OK,
I've been dumped myself recently. A new page is just what I need to
refresh my disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your background and meet
you inside." She walked away, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids, and
thinking "Wow, what a global variable. I wonder if she'll like my
firmware."
They sat down at the process table to a top-of-form feed of fiche and
chips and a bucket of Baudet. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded
on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgements.
Although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least critical
path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old "Would you like to
see my benchmark subroutine?" but Mini was again one step ahead. Suddenly,
she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full
functionality of her operating system software. "Let's get BASIC, you
Ram," she said. Micro's hard drive was loaded by this stage, but his
interface unit had a processor of its own and was in danger of overflowing
its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about.
"Core," was all he could say. Micro soon recovered, however, when she went
down on the DEC and opened her device file to reveal her data set ready,
he accessed his fully packed root, and was just about to start pushing
into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.
"No! No!" she piped. "You're not shielded."
"Reset, baby" he replied. "I've been debugged."
"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child
processes," she protested.
"Don't run away, I'll generate an interrupt."
"No, too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design philosophy."
Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned off. But
she soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into his
main supply, whereupon he dumped his buffer, fell over with a head crash,
and went to sleep.
"Computers," she thought as she compiled herself, "All they ever think
about is HEX!"
-- Brought to you by Norton, courtesy of Bell Information Systems Office
Illiteracy Department.
-- Grammatically edited by the Management of Killer Blue Systems.
Downloaded from Just Say Yes. 2 lines, More than 500 files online!
Full access on first call. 415-922-2008 CASFA